Animus
by Rin Blake
Summary: AU- A war defined three generations. A war made by adults, but fought by children. A war that took love, innocence, and all held close away from a group of people. A war that killed without mercy. The First Wizarding War defined who these people turned out to be. It was the war that James and Lily were truly alive in.
1. Chapter 1 The Dawn of the Marauders

**The Dawn of the Marauders**

**_"Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another:_**

**_ "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . ."" _**

**_― C.S. Lewis, The Four Love_**

* * *

A quick note on the Marauders, they were different from most purebloods. The Marauders were a group of four boys who were from the top and élite pureblood families. Remus Lupin, the conscience of the group. Jason Gastor was the heart and voice of truth of the four boys. Sirius Black was the devilish prankster who didn't know what a limit was. James Potter the undecided leader, the combination of all three boys, and most importantly the innocent.

It's hard to say what started the Marauders. But the origins really trace back to Remus John Lupin, because he was the glue that held them together.

* * *

Remus Lupin's family was an old French pureblood family that moved to England a century earlier. They weren't included in the holy seven, but he could have been. But Remus had a dark secret; he was a werewolf.

During a visit to the Lupin Manor in northern France, Remus had escaped the clutches of his governess. He wondered into the nearby forest and a group of werewolves found him. Mr. Lupin had led an expedition into the wood and found Remus a few hours later. A month after this, Remus had his first transformation. Remus and his parents doubted if the board of education at Hogwarts would even allow him to attend, but that all changed the day Remus John Lupin met three pureblood boys.

Every pureblood went to charms school before Hogwarts, well at least the boys. Girls were hidden from society until they had their entrance to society ball. Remus met three boys at the school, who would change his life.

It was by chance that these four boys decided to sit together. It all started one fall evening in London. Inside of the esteemed charms school for young pureblood boys a story unfolded.

Remus Lupin was the first to enter the class. His parents had paid the school a hefty amount to keep his secret and Remus was so grateful. When he was nine years old, Remus Lupin slid into the classroom and sat at the back table. He watched the clock and waited for the seconds to tick by.

Students slowly came into the classroom but none sat at the table that Remus was located at. Remus sighed and pulled a quill and piece of parchment from his bag, when he looked up he was blinded. Well not really, but Jason Edward Gastor could have been the sun.

* * *

Jason Gastor was running. He had just managed to escape his annoying sister Lily's pouting face and teary eyes. Jason loved Lily more than anything else, but that was since all his brothers paired off with each other. Cassius and Lucian had been mistaken for twins, but Lucian had left for Hogwarts two days ago.

Jason was envious. Lucian had written about the Slytherin Common Room and what it was like there. Jason couldn't wait till he got there.

Cassius was in the classroom down the hall. He was a pretentious git who preferred a book to playing with Jason.

Pericles was a Ravenclaw. His father had stormed into his office when he found out. But his mother smiled, Jason loved his mother's smile. Pericles was a third year. Jason decided that Pericles wasn't a Slytherin. He preferred books and the library to playing Quidditch, most of the time. Pericles was a Gastor, meaning that he did enjoy a game of Quidditch. Pericles was the Keeper for Ravenclaw.

Thinking of Quidditch reminded Jason of Julius. Julius had just graduated from Hogwarts and was Jason's idol. Puddlemere United and several other Quidditch teams had all but begged him to play for them. But that's not why Jason looked up to him. Jason wanted to have the leadership and cunning traits that Julius Gastor had.

And then there was Lily. Lily was the child that surprised all of them. She was born six months after Jason. She was too early. Jason didn't remember what it was like when she was born but he remembered one thing; her eyes. He could not remember the small child that his mother held in her arms. He couldn't remember her screams of agony. He couldn't even remember the hospital room. But he remembered one thing. He remembered seeing those emerald eyes and feeling something warm flood through him. Seeing Lily's eyes was his earliest memory.

But Lily was different from him and his brothers. They took after the Gastor family traits; gold eyes and hair, aristocrat features with a tan that Apollo would envy. Lily was different. She looked more like their mum. She had their mum's red hair with their father's curls. Her skin was a pale creamy tone that refused to tan or even sunburn. Jason's dad said that came from Lily's Irish grandmother. Her eyes were different from their mum's. Delphina Gastor had grassy green eyes but Lily's were gems.

Jason could remember a childhood memory of his parents talking about them. They said it was her magic, and that they would never need any childhood bursts of magic to know that their daughter wasn't a squib; her eyes were enough.

Lily was his closest friend. She played Quidditch with him when the other boys ditched him. But Jason didn't know to treasure her presence. He was cruel and teased her. He didn't know that his time with her was limited.

Jason had just gave his sister one last hug and apparated to London with his father. He was excited. Jason was ready to grow up, like his brothers.

Jason ran into the classroom and jumped in the first seat he could find. He seemed to have startled the other person sitting there.

" Hi I'm Jason, Jason Gastor," Jason greeted. The boy looked shy but Jason like him. He had something to him; it almost reminded him of his mother's kind embrace.

" I'm Remus, Remus Lupin," the boy muttered. Jason made some efforts to engage him in conversation but the boy was stubborn to not talk. That was before the other editions to their group arrived.

* * *

Sirius Orion Black was proud to be a Black. He was the epitome of the Black family. His eyes were the stormy gray signature trait of the Black family. He was relieved when they remained gray and didn't turn blue like his cousin Narcissa. His hair wasn't chaotic. No it fell to his chin in elegant curls. Even at such a young age he could see the fine aristocrat features of the Black family beginning to form.

" Sirius we need to leave," his mother shouted. Sirius grinned and grabbed his bag. He shot down the stairs and landed in the entrance hall. His mom smiled and tucked one of his curls behind his ear.

" Remember no pranks. You need to be a proper young gentleman," his mum ordered. Sirius grinned and crossed his fingers as he said a lie. He loved his mum but she coddled him too much.

" Come Sirius we must leave," his father said. Sirius turned and met the cold eyes of his dad. They soften as they examined Sirius. Regulus stood in the doorway wearing a pout of indignance.

" Don't worry Reg! You'll be going to Charm School with me in no time," Sirius announced. His brother sniffled but smiled.

Sirius reached for his father's hand and felt his world twist and turn. He wobbled a little as they landed outside of the Charm School. He smiled; he was ready for this.

" Sirius Orion Black this is your start. From here you will need to uphold our name responsibly. Since my brother didn't have an heir, you are the heir to the Black family. Do what you must to respect our family name," his father commanded.

Sirius felt his heart swell with pride; he was ready for this. He nodded and his father smiled. Sirius turned and walked into the building.

He nodded at some of the boys he met at balls and dinners his parents dragged him to, but none of them interested him. He entered his classroom and walked to the back table. He could see a pale boy and a tanned boy sitting there.

They turned to him and greeted him. The pale boy shrunk back and turned to his book pages. The tan one smiled, Sirius knew he was going to like him.

" I'm Sirius, Sirius Black," Sirius greeted. The tan boy smiled a toothy grin and extended a hand.

" I'm Jason Gastor. This here's Remus Lupin he's a bit shy but I have a feeling we're going to fix that," the tan boy said. Sirius only grinned and sat down. He was ready to bring pride to his family.

* * *

James Charlus Potter looked at the ring on his father's hand. It was a brilliant gold with a crimson "P" in the middle. His father glanced at his and put down his copy of the Profit.

" James how do you feel about going to Charms school today," his dad questioned. James looked down and picked at the strawberry pancakes his mother had made.

" I'm scared. I feel ashamed Potters aren't supposed to be afraid," James muttered. His dad chuckled and pulled him towards him.

" James Charlus Potter why would you think that? Fear is human, and Potters are humans. Don't be scared you're going to be fine. In fact your mother's worried that you'll get up to mischief like your old man," Charlus Potter consoled. James smiled and stood.

" Then let's go," he announced. His mum kissed him goodbye and he rubbed it off. Then he walked with his father to the edge of the Potter estate and apparated with a satisfying pop.

His dad landed them outside of the Charms School building. James felt his father kneel and gently hold his shoulders.

" You're my pride, my legacy and my world. I know that you're going to do great things James," his dad announced. James smiled and waved good-bye to his dad. He ran inside the school ready for an adventure.

James surveyed the classroom. There were about twenty purebloods inside of it. He could see the muddy brown eyes of the Prewitt twins laughing at Michael Wood. His father told him to avoid boys like that; their parents were blood traitors. James made his way through the class and felt eyes look at him.

But he was fine with it. His dad said being a Potter called a lot of attention. He saw a group of three boys sitting in the back and felt his heart pound. They felt like home.

He walked over and recognized one. James grinned and saw a pair of gray eyes smile at him.

" It's great to see you Sirius. Who are these blokes you're sitting with," James announced. Sirius swung an am over his should and clapped his back. He curiously looked at the boys.

There was a boy with golden skin and hair. James felt a tug of familiarity when the boy looked at him. The other boy was pale and he ducked his head in shyness.

" This is Jason Gastor and the pale shy guy's Remus Lupin. We've made it our mission to break him. We're going to get him to prank someone before the end of Charms School," Sirius announced.

James smiled and shook hands with Jason Gastor. He looked at Remus Lupin who was trying to avoid the other boys.

" Well I'm James Potter. I hope that this is the start to a great friendship," James announced. It was the start of something.

* * *

**I would like to thank an anonymous reviewer named Chelsea, she gave me the inspiration to start this.**

**More chapters will be posted!**

**Please Read and Review**

**-Rin **


	2. Chapter 2 Love's Cruel Embrace

**Love's Cruel Embrace**

* * *

**"I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, **

**or if it was the second or third or fourth. **

**But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow **

**the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you." **

**- Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince**

* * *

James was happy for the first time in months. Ever since his parents had been diagnosed with a deadly stage of Dragon Pox, he was stuck in a world of despair. Girls, pranks, Quidditch, and even his closest friends faded away. He pushed a wall of numbness between reality and his own horrors. James couldn't imagine a world without his parents.

Charlus Potter and Dorea Potter were the two people he looked up to the most. His dad was different from most dads. Charlus Potter had balanced the strict characteristics of the head of the Potter family with the kind loving nature of a father perfectly.

Dorea Potter had been able to show him love and justice in an even fix. James could remember her soft kisses to his forehead when he fell off his broomstick. He could smell her honey and green tea perfume and feel her soft ebony hair fall against his shoulder.

But now he couldn't. James had spent most of the holiday break in St. Mungos by his parents' bedside. He couldn't hug them or even touch them. The healers were worried that his parent's dragon pox was contagious. James had scoffed at this. If it had been any other family they would have been less precautious, but since he was the last of the Potter line, well things were different.

James wrapped his arm around his partner's waist. She was perfect. James wasn't one to throw the word perfection at anything, but the girl in his arms deserved it.

A mask concealed her identity, but James didn't care; he had time to figure out who she was. She leaned her head against his heart; he could feel her breath brush his chest.

James remembered when he had first seen her. Sirius had dragged him out of his parents' hospital room and shoved a suit in his direction. James had reluctantly pealed the jeans and T-shirt he had worn for a few days and showered. He unwillingly shaved and pulled the suit on.

Sirius had decided that he was tired of James moping around so much, and chose to cart James back to Potter Manor and drag him to the Malfoy Christmas Ball. James had cursed Sirius for making him come, but as the girl in his arms relaxed against his body he couldn't be more grateful.

James had arrived with Sirius late to the ball. He could feel a black mask mold itself to his face as he trudged into the ballroom with Sirius. The ball was in full swing. He smirked when he saw Moony chatting with some older men. Typical Moony, James thought. Sirius was speaking to him but he ignored him.

James saw the five Gastor brothers walk in together. Immediately they separated and stayed that way. James felt a spark of empathy shoot through him. He was there when Jason got the letter saying his parents had died. James felt a flicker of annoyance at a certain group for getting in the way of a death eater event. If those bloody Dumbledore suck ups hadn't shown up then things could have been different.

James saw Jason Gastor, the fourth marauder walk in with a girl. His world froze when he saw that girl. Sirius's babbling faded, the ball swirled into a distant background. His senses faded and all he could feel and see was this girl.

She stood across the ball curiously looking around the room. Looking at her shot butterflies and volcano eruptions through James. He didn't need air he needed her. Long hair the color of roses tumbled down her back. James saw that it curled at the bottom. An emerald-green mask covered the top of her face. He could see wide doe-eyed eyes peak out from it.

Something shot through his heart when he saw those eyes. They were soulful and twinkled with laughter. James could make out their gem-like sheen from across the room. Those eyes, James swore, made him feel as though he was flying. They were a rich emerald-green.

James lost his breath when he heard a rich peal of laughter come out of the girl. It sounded like love and hope. James unconsciously moved forward, he needed to get closer to her. He crossed the dance floor ignoring the stares of curious purebloods.

Up close this girl looked different. She wore a strapless emerald-green gown that reached the floor. James felt his mouth dry at seeing her. Jason had given her a quick nod and left. James walked closer and closer. It wasn't his feet pulling him forward; it was his heart.

" Would you like to dance," he asked. The girl looked up at him in shock. Her lips parted slightly and he could see brilliant white teeth. James could see a blush creep up her throat and rest on her cheeks.

" I'm a bit clumsy," the girl admitted ruefully. James almost cried when he heard her voice. Accents were woven into it and it had a musical note to it.

" That's okay. I'm sure you're just being modest," James said. The girl looked around the ballroom and took his outstretched hand. He led her to the dance floor and pulled her close to him.

She was tall enough for her head to skim the tip of his chin in the heels she wore. James was sure that without those huge black heels she would barely reach his chest. His heart clenched with joy while holding her. She was like a waterfall given to a man stuck in a desert of despair. She washed away his worries with one smile.

James wrapped one of his arms around her waist and pulled her even closer. He gently tapped his fingers against her hip bone and she made a noise of contentment. James reached for her hand and held in his larger one. He rubbed his thumb against her palm. James looked down and could see her chest was large. He blushed at his thoughts. He, James Charlus Potter, the boy who lost his virginity at fourteen, the boy who had slept with over half the girls in Hogwarts, the boy who could make a girl his with just a grin was embarrassed to think about a girl.

But this girl was different. She looked like an angel resting in his arms. Her eyes occasionally glanced up at him but she immediately looked down biting her lip. She was so beautiful; he knew that he could fall in love with her in a flash of light.

James knew that people were staring at him. His mask had barely covered his face so they knew who he was. But none of them knew who the girl he was dancing with was. They wanted gossip; who was the girl who James Potter danced with for the entire Christmas Ball. But James didn't know who she was, not that he cared.

James felt a list of all the pureblood girls he knew run through his head. Her hair crossed out at least 90% of them. Top it off with her eyes, well then James was lost for an identity.

She didn't have the standard pureblood looks; tall, elegant and dark-haired. Most English purebloods had fairy blond hair or midnight black hair. There were a few exceptions to this of course. James thought about the Gastor family with their gold hair and gold eyes.

James was reminded of the late Delphina Gastor when he looked at the girl in his arms. Delphina Gastor had startling straight red hair and green eyes but she was tan, extremely tan. Her eyes were more grassy then emerald also. James had often gone over to Jason house during the summer. The Gastors were one of the few families to live outside of West Country so he often went there to escape the craze of pureblood society.

James wondered if the girl was a cousin or a niece of the Gastor family. Maybe she was visiting for the break, he thought. James smiled at that thought. If she were a Greek pureblood that would give his family more leverage. Their children's blood would be unique like Jason's.

The girl spoke to him and he replied. What she said faded to a memory but a sharp one. He maintained a witty conversation with her and was happy to see that she was not only beautiful but also smart. James pulled her closer and she was pressed directly against him.

When James removed his silk gloves and touched her bare skin he felt as though a hundred bolts of lightening had hit him. He couldn't think or breathe, but it was okay since he had her.

James stopped dancing and turned to the front of the room. He tucked the girl into his side and held her tightly. James was scared that she might leave him. He nodded at Abraxas Malfoy but the girl wrinkled her nose.

James answered her question and she frowned. James felt horrible when she frowned; he immediately regretted his statement. James watched as the girl shoved herself out of his hold and run off.

He watched her leave. The ocean that was his despairing life came crashing down on him the minute she let go of him.

* * *

**James's perspective of the first time he saw Lily**

**Please Review!**

**-Rin**


	3. Chapter 3 A Window into Confingo

**A Window into the Confingo Universe**

* * *

**Gastor Family**

* * *

**William Julian Gastor**

High ranked pureblood,

Member of the Wizengamot

Slytherin

Head Boy, and Quidditch captain

Married to Delphina Ipomoea Gastor _nee_ Lilium

Pureblood Elitist

**Delphina Ipomoea Gastor _nee_ Lilius**

Greek pureblood from the Lilius line

Moved to England for marriage

Married to William Julian Gastor

Pureblood Elitist

**Julius William Gastor**

Age 29

Plays as chaser for Puddlemere United- team captain

Plays chaser for national team

Attended Hogwarts

Slytherin

Prefect

Quidditch captain

Head boy

Dated Andromeda Black who left him for a muggleborn

Pureblood Elitist – death eater

**Pericles William Gastor**

Age 20

Healer at St. Mungos – Works in Spell Damage Ward

Attended Hogwarts

Ravenclaw

Quidditch Captain - beater

Prefect

Head boy

Pureblood Elitist- Death eater

**Lucian Pollux Gastor**

Age 17

Attending Hogwarts

Slytherin

Prefect

Current Head boy

Quidditch captain –beater

Dating Eliza Rosier ( bethrothed to marry her)- Ravenclaw head girl

Pureblood Elitist- death eater

**Cassius Daniel Gastor**

Age 16

Attending Hogwarts

Slytherin

Prefect

Slytherin keeper

Dating betrothed- Natasha Goyle

Pureblood Elitist-Death eater

**Jason Edward Gastor**

Age 16

Six months older than Lily (June ending)

Attending Hogwarts

Slytherin

Chaser

Pureblood Elitist- death eater

Member of the Marauders (replaces peter)

**Lily Marie Evans (Gastor)**

Age 15

Red hair, green eyes, height:5'6

Birthday- January 31

Attended:

-Athenian School for Sorcery

-Beauxabatons

-Currently Attending Hogwarts

Gryffindor

Prefect

Seeker

Blood Traitor (changed last name)

* * *

**Holy seven**

-Potters

-Gastors

-Blacks

-Malfoys

-Rosiers

-Prewitts

-Longbottoms

* * *

**This is some information that I realized is a tad difficult to remember. **

**A reviewer requested for some of the information.**

**Please review and ask questions. **

**-Rin**


	4. Chapter 4 The Safe Choice

**The Safe Choice**

* * *

**"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,**  
**And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind." **  
**― William Shakespeare, A MidSummer's Night Dream**

* * *

She never noticed the sprinkle of freckles by his left cheek. She never noticed that his jaw was sharp and his hair jutted out near his face. She never noticed that he smelled like coffee and rugged earth with a hint of wind in it. Most importantly Lily never noticed that his eyes had this tortured glint in them. She could see his nightmares and demons in them, yet she felt so safe. Lily felt safe, and now she really needed something safe.

She didn't notice, but her face moved up and Michael's moved down. Her heart pounded for her to lean up and kiss him. Her mind felt numb as she tilted her head and met Michael's lips.

When Lily's lips met Michael's her eyes closed softly. She felt like she was being soothed by a dreamy lullaby and she needed that. She kissed Michael softly and he kissed her with the gentle touch of the sky.

Lily's hands curled up and grabbed his chestnut hair. His hands curled around her waist and twisted into her hair. She felt his tug her hair out of its ponytail. The passionate fight they were having faded to a distant memory as they held each other.

Lily let out a sigh of relief. She felt so relaxed and at peace. Michael's cheek brushed hers. She didn't know how long they kissed but eventually it ended. At the same time they pulled away from each other and gasped for air. Lily's cheeks were stained a bright pink and she leaned her head into Michael's chest.

She felt as though the troubles in their worlds had been scared away by a burst of light. She felt secure for the first time in months. Michael's kiss may not have had the fiery tempest that James's had, but she didn't care. Lily wanted Michael Wood's safe kisses and love.

The warm sun of the late morning hit them. Lily knew that she had piled of homework that was due tomorrow but she didn't want to leave. She had the entire Sunday afternoon to do them.

She didn't want their bubble of security to end but it did. She was practically in his lap with her lips pressed to his when a footstep popped their bubble. Lily looked up and saw something that made her heart falter. Michael held her closer and she could feel his heart beating.

" Wood the pitch isn't a bedroom," a voice teased. Lily gulped and peered over Michael's shoulder. She could see the four tall bodies walking towards them. An aurora of arrogance surrounded them. Lily knew for a fact that there were fangirls sitting in the seats surrounding the pitch. A pair of gold eyes saw her and froze. Lily flinched as she saw rage and fury fill them.

" Don't you have a fucking sense of preservation Wood? Lily care to explain why the hell you were snogging bloody Michael Wood," Jason's voice roared. Michael stood and pulled Lily up with him. He pushed Lily to his side and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

Lily realized how bad this looked. Michael was half-naked and she was only wearing a pair of short athletic shorts and a tight tank top. Her hair was out and Lily was sure that her cheeks were a crimson red.

She saw the other Marauders surround Jason. Remus Lupin looked at her with worry, she remembered how she treated him regretfully. Sirius Black looked at Michael with disgust. Lily almost flinched when she saw the volcanic rage and anger in James Potter's eyes. But she could see a layer of poorly concealed pain in them.

" Give me one reason why I shouldn't beat the crap out of you," Jason snarled at Michael. Before Michael could respond, Sirius stepped in.

" Jason what's going on? I know that it's revolting for a pureblood like Wood to even touch a dirty mudblood like Evans but I'd prefer to teach Evans here a lesson," Sirius growled. Michael's grip tightened on Lily's waist. She could feel the audience in the stands watching the scene eagerly.

" Sirius I will personally castrate you if you don't shut the fuck up! Lily why are you with Wood," Jason asked through gritted teeth.

" Jason it's not really any of your business," Lily answered coolly. She saw Jason scream with fury.

" I'll be damned if this isn't any of my bloody business. You should not be with Wood. I'll tell Julius," Jason threatened.

Lily remembered Julius's unexpected arrival at her house in London. She paled and felt something stir inside her.

" You won't do that," Lily said smugly. She hoped Jason couldn't see through her lie.

" Why wouldn't I? I'm not the one who Julius and Pericles will personally kill,  
Jason answered. Lily rolled her eyes and smirked.

" It's funny that you lot relied on Benjy to somewhat stalk me. I did the same thing, but a bit differently. Pixies and fairies that owe someone favors make great spies. I know all about that wild spring break you had last year," Lily replied.

She knew that using blackmail was wrong. The only reason she had any blackmail was due to a time when she accidently saved a forest, that happened to be a Pixie and Fairy kingdom, and they decided to pay Lily back. But that's a story for another day.

She felt the Marauders and Michael look at her curiously. But she ignored them. She grinned when she saw Jason pale.

" You're lying," Jason scoffed. Lily raised her eyebrow and glared at him.

" Does the name Penelope ring a bell," she answered. Jason flinched and raised his hands in surrender.

" Don't you remember what Wood did to you only two months ago? Why would you want to even be with him," Jason asked.

" Because he cares and that's an awful lot more than you or any of the others do," Lily answered.

* * *

Lily had a smile on her face as she walked through the hallway. She and Michael were in a strange in between phase of short kisses and long stares ever since their first kiss on Saturday. She didn't talk about the future and he didn't. She knew that they could die out as quickly as they came into existence; but she didn't care. Michael was safe and needed something safe.

Lily held her books close to her chest. She had just come from a private tutoring session with Professor Slughorn for her Potions OWL. She wanted to get an Outstanding and was doing everything she could to get one. Lily sighed and knew that by the end of the school year she would have larger bags under her eyes; she only hoped that they would be worth it.

Her days were filled with preparing for the Quidditch Cup match and studying for OWLS. Ever since she started her thing with Michael, he had relaxed on practice. She wondered what they were. Lily wasn't ready to date; she had to find out who she was betrothed to first. It could be Michael and then she would be safe.

Abruptly, Lily felt someone shove her into an empty classroom. She was shoved against the door of the room and her attacker pressed against her. Lily jerked her head up and saw a messy head of hair.

" Potter what are you doing," Lily screeched. She squirmed against Potter's hold and he grabbed her hands. He briskly held them over her head and against the wood door with one hand. He moved his legs in between hers and forced his chest against hers. Lily looked up and saw a furious gleam in his eyes.

" What are you doing Evans? Snogging Wood, real mature," Potter sneered. Lily glared up at him and writhed in his hold.

" What do you mean," Lily demanded. Potter let out a cold bark of laughter.

"You're only with him to make me jealous," Potter smugly answered. Lily's cheeks burned a crimson red. That shallow arse, she thought.

" Potter you're not the only thing I think of. I'm with Michael because I like him and he likes me," Lily replied. Potter grunted and moved even closer to her. Lily gasped, there was barely any room for her to breathe.

" Evans you can keep lying to yourself if you want. But one day you'll wake up and realize that Wood is a prick. It could be tomorrow or in twenty years when you're married to the bastard with a bloody white picket fence. But it's inevitable," Potter drawled. His voice vibrated and a hint of stubble on his cheek tickled the side of Lily's face.

" Michael's safe and I need to be safe," Lily explained. Potter watched her harshly.

" You're not the kind of girl who needs someone safe like Wood. He doesn't have the fire and passion that we have. Let me ask you something Evans. When he kisses you do you feel as though you're being lit on fire? When he touches you does it send electric shocks into every never ending on your body? When he says your name do you see fireworks," Potter asked.

Lily's eyes fluttered, as his mouth grew closer to hers. She moaned and tried to move away but Potter shushed her. His mouth grew closer to hers, until finally it rested a mere millimeter from hers. She could smell his green apple and rugged earth scent, something purely unique about him.

Lily's eyes bolted open with shock as she realized what was happening. Potter was like a drug; he lulled her into rest and then snuck in for the kill. Potter didn't notice that she was no longer inhabited. His legs relaxed and his hold on her hand did too.

Just as Lily felt his lips reach hers she swung her fist into his face. A sickening crack echoed in the room as Potter ducked and held his nose. Lily could see blood falling from it as she stepped away from Potter.

" Fuck Evans goddammit you need to stop hitting me all the bloody time," Potter exclaimed. Lily watched him gingerly touch his nose and grabbed her wand.

" Episkey," Lily said. Potter's nose moved itself to its old straight arrogant position. A crack sounded and Potter flinched. Lily didn't want to help him, but she couldn't leave him with a broken nose.

" Potter next time you decide to attack me like that I'll personally castrate you," Lily deadpanned. She shoved Potter away and briskly strode out of the room. Lily didn't look back; if she did maybe she would have seen the hurt in Potter's eyes.

* * *

**I had something planned out between Michael and Lily, but it didn't seem right. Michael was the safe choice for Lily but he wasn't what she needed. This scene got cut from Chapter 6.**

**Chapter 6 is taking a bit of time to write. I'm hoping to finish it and have it out either today or tomorrow. The wait will be worth it, that I can assure. **

**Please ask any questions and review**

**- Rin**


	5. Chapter 5 The Lost Queen

**A Lost Queen**

**"There is nothing in this life that can destroy you but yourself.**

** Bad things happen to everyone, but when they do, you can't just fall apart and die.**

** You have to fight back. **

** If you don't, you're the one who loses in the end. **

** But if you do keep going and fight back, you win." **

**― Alexandra Monir, Timeless  
**

* * *

This memory started with admitting a lie. Lily had to confess a truth that she hated and built her first lie around. The basis of whom she was all relied on one lie. Lily had lied about no one knowing her. It was quite the opposite; Lily Marie Gastor was once the Queen of Society.

She had not only lied to the world but herself. Pureblood girls did not have to wait until their entrance to society ball to go to Pureblood social events. Lily only thought that way due to her hidden shame. No the truth was that the minute a girl was born, she was kept on a market; the pureblood wife market.

Lily knew that in all truth, the entire pureblood society had known about her. She wasn't the secret Gastor child, not she was the well-known celebrity of pureblood events. It was only due to a set of powerful obliviation spells and confundus charms, her parents set off, that people had forgotten about her. Lily could relive that horrible day once she finally acknowledged the truth.

Nine-year-old Lily Marie Gastor wrinkled her nose in annoyance. Her parents had dragged her off to another stuffy old pureblood party. Her brothers had ditched her for their friends from Hogwarts and Charms school. Lily stood hear her mother's elegant gold dress and watched the room around her.

Her mum was speaking to a group of women her age. They looked down at Lily and smiled. Lily was an exotic creature to them. Her green eyes and red hair were delights to the blonds and brunettes of the party. She could see them appraising her to marry her off.

Lily remembered with a shiver all the marriage offers people made to her parents. Yet they always turned them down. Lily could remember her parents looking at her with all-knowing expressions. When she asked them about the offers they'd respond by telling her that she didn't need to settle for these people, she was going to marry the best pureblood out there.

Lily spoke with some silly girls her age. They wore puffy dresses and too much make-up for a child. But they flocked to her; they absolutely adored her. Lily was a small girl with an aurora of power and charisma; at least she used to be. Her emerald-green sundress was the talk of the young pureblood girls' conversations. Her peers would pout at her striking red hair and bold green eyes in envy. Lily was the jewel to a garden of purebloods, and she reveled in it.

Lily saw an electric blue orb and smiled. There was only one girl she could tolerate in this group of seven girls her age.

" Mrs. McKinnon is Marlee here," Lily asked. Marlene McKinnon had been her closest friend and sole confidant in the mess that was pureblood society. Lily had known her since her toddler days, but neither of them remembered that, well until now. The bright-eyed woman looked at her with a smile.

" Marlene is ill, she had caught an awful cold from playing outside in the rain with her brother. Adam is a little devil in the making," Mrs. McKinnon said. Lily nodded and turned from the woman.

Once upon a time Lily was the perfect young pureblood girl. Potential surrounded her in a warm bubble. Lily caught a few boys her age staring at her unabashedly. She turned from them; boys had cooties.

Lily saw her brothers across the room. Like perfect children they were off making connections and gaining life-lasting relationships. Occasionally Pericles would glance in her direction. But a group of boys his age would take his attention away.

Jason had been her closest companion. They were to the minute born exactly six months apart. Jason was her best friend for life, but then he met the Marauders back in September.

The Marauders were a group of boys that Lily could barely tolerate. They stole her best friend from her and replaced a cruel mean person in his place. Though the Marauders didn't know it, Lily was the one who came up with their group name.

They had come to the Gastor Manor after a long day of Charms School. The first thing they did was prank Lily. She had turned to them with rage in her child eyes and called them a bunch of Marauding imbeciles. The name stuck and after almost an entire year they were still friends.

Lily missed her other closest friend; Benjy Auclair. Right before Charms School started, his dad was offered a job in France and they moved. Lily wrote to him but it wasn't the same. They couldn't go broom racing or steal cookies from the pantry when they were hundreds of miles apart.

She never really fit in with the girls of pureblood society. They were too ditzy and giggly for her. She preferred a good book or a game of Quidditch to them. But she couldn't sneak into the Gastor Library, sadly this party was at the Rosier Manor.

" Mum may I go to dad," Lily questioned. Her mum's friends oohed and awed at Lily's articulate speech and manners. Lily's mum smiled down at her and brushed one of Lily's curls from her forehead. Lily's parents decided that she looked better with her hair down.

Her mum didn't like to cut it so it reached the end of her back. Lily's mum had arranged a few small braids into it, but left it out for the most part. Lily gave her mum pouty eyes that could convince anyone to do her bidding.

" Fine my little flower, but don't interrupt your father if he is busy," her mum ordered. Lily loved her mum's accent. It stretched and warped certain syllables into a melodic tune. Lily shot her mum a smile and bid the women around her a good bye. She crossed the entrance hall and made small talk with older purebloods.

" Oh Lily you've grown," a voice announced in the middle of a hallway. Lily turned and plastered a smile on her face. The willowy figure of Dorea Potter approached her.

" You're prettier than you were when I last saw you. Are those earrings I see," Dorea exclaimed. Lily blushed and responded.

" Hello Mrs. Potter. My mum finally let me get my ears pieced," Lily admitted with a grin. Mrs. Potter and her husband had been new additions to her life. With the recent move of the Auclair family and Jason's friendship with James, her parents had befriended the Potter couple.

" They look marvelous. How's your brother, Jason, Merlin knows I have trouble keeping track of your brothers, doing? My son and him seem to be getting along," Dorea said.

" Thank you. Jason's well but he never plays with me anymore, he always wants to play with his Marauders friends," Lily grumbled. Dorea watched the small girl in amusement.

" Don't worry Lily, he's your brother, he'll never forget about you," Dorea reassured. Lily smiled and heard a loud laugh come across from the hall. She watched four boys mischievous slink out of the dining room with grins. Lily waved to Jason and he flashed her with a smile. She saw the others and sent them firm glares. Sirius Black stuck his tongue out at her and she crossed her arms. Remus Lupin shyly smiled at her. But it was a rambunctious hazel-eyed boy that acted differently.

James Potter stared at Lily. She blushed as his eyes looked at her. Something warm filled her and finally they broke eye contact. She watched the boys run out of the hallway and into another room.

" How do you feel about your brother's friends," Dorea asked. Lily faced her and wrinkled her nose.

" Remus is nice. He doesn't tease me like the others do. He promised to show me how to play Wizard's Chess," Lily exclaimed. Dorea made a noise for her to go on.

" Sirius reminds me too much of my brother Julius. He always makes fun of my eyes," Lily sniffed. Dorea had an impatient look on her face that she barely concealed.

" What about my son, James," Dorea asked.

" James is the only one that talks to me. He said he would show me his broomstick. Mum won't let me get one yet, she says I have to use one of Cassius's old ones until I get to Hogwarts. James told me that he has the new Cleansweep," Lily said with excitement. Dorea smiled at this.

" It's been amazing speaking with you Lily. You're always welcomed at our house in Godric's Hallow," Dorea finished. Lily nodded and bid her a goodbye. She watched the tall dark-eyed woman leave the hallway. Lily felt her heart race at the one thing she didn't say to Dorea. James hadn't just been nice to her and offered to show her his broom; no he had done something else.

Lily remembered the Christmas Ball held at the Potter Manor the Christmas only seven months ago. She remembered her lovely trademark emerald-green ball gown and seeing James. She remembered tripped and his lanky arms catching her. Lily remembered that he smelled like green apples and nutmeg that night. She remembered blushing and stuttering a thank you and trying to pull out of his hold, only to be pushed back into it by an invisible force.

She remembered him and her looking up at the same time and seeing the branch of Wizard's mistletoe over them. She could still feel the same blush of embarrassment creep up her throat. She could remember James's hazel eyes boring into hers and feeling sparks as he pecked her lips. She remembered feeling as though she was electrocuted when he gave her a chaste kiss, a kiss that happened to be her first kiss.

Lily pushed those thoughts away with a sigh of embarrassment. She smoothed her gown down and crossed the hallway. She knocked on the door to the living room and entered.

A group of fifteen or so purebloods sat inside. They were having an avid conversation Lily heard mutters of the dark lord and death eater nonsense. They looked up when Lily knocked on the door. She saw golden eyes of her dad peer up at her.

" Lils what are you doing here," William Gastor asked with a grin. Lily stood shyly by the door; some of the men in the room were a lot taller than her. The couches were filled with men drinking liberal amounts of scotch and firewhiskey.

" Can I stay," Lily asked. She crossed the floor and crawled up to her dad's lap. He sat in the single seat couch and smelled like pine and cinnamon. Her dad smiled at her fondly and some of the men in the room chuckled at this. A little girl had broken the cold and emotionless William Julian Gastor.

" Of course darling," he said. Lily grinned up at him and he held her fondly in his lap. Lily reached into her bracelet and pulled out the snitch her dad used in Hogwarts, the one he gave to her. She played with it and saw some of the men watching her.

" She's talented with that snitch. Is she any good on a broom," a tall man asked. Lily blushed and her dad smiled.

" Almost better than my eldest, Julius," her dad said tenderly.

" Is it true? We've heard rumors that she's betrothed," a brunette man prompted.

" Yes, she's off the market," her dad said. Lily wondered whom they were talking about. She hated when men spoke meanly about women.

" Who's going to get her," another man asked. Lily's dad smirked and ruffled her hair.

" That's a secret until Lily has started her magical education," her dad answered. Lily realized that they were talking about her and turned to her dad.

" Daddy you're not making me marry someone are you," Lily asked. Her lips trembled at the thought of being forced to marry some snotty pureblood boy. She waited for her father to say no, but it never came. Lily stared at him in horror and jumped off his lap.

She felt anger and rage run through her. Lily clenched her fists and blinked her eyes. Something was wrong. She could feel her hands heat up and her dad watched her in horror. The men in the room pulled their wands out.

Lily looked at her hands and saw that they were on fire. She didn't care, she was so angry how could her own father make her marry someone she didn't even know.

" Dad how could you," Lily exclaimed. Her dad stood and barked and order for the other men to drop their wands.

" Lily Marie Gastor you need to calm down," her dad ordered. Lily felt something tug at her. It was like a raging beast. She gasped in horror; it was trying to control her. She shut her eyes and felt flames race up her arms.

" Holy Merlin. Will is this what you were talking about? Your daughter performing stunning amounts of accidental magic," a man said. Lily didn't know what happened next. All she knew was that a wild animal seemed to grab her and steal control from her.

She watched in horror as flames burst from her hands. They hit the wall and people shouted. She felt flames envelope her body and before she could destroy anything else a spell hit her. She fell to the ground and felt the monster give her control again.

When Lily woke she was in her room in the Gastor Manor. Her parents stood in front of her bed, ignorant that she was awake. They were arguing.

" There's nothing else we can do. Most of society saw her light the Rosier Manor on fire, if you hadn't acted so quickly with those confundus charms and obliviation spells then the Dark Lord would have found out by now," her mum shouted. Lily's father bit his lip and ran a hand through his hair.

" Delphina I just wiped her presence out of everybody we know. No one will remember her, no one will know that she even exists," her dad sighed.

" I contacted Dumbledore. He says the best option is to get her out of England and away from these people," her mum explained.

" What about the boys, we can't alter our own sons' memories," her dad said.

" We could vow them to secrecy. If we are going to send her away from here we have to do it tonight," her mum said. Lily saw her purse her lips.

" I've got connections in the floo department, I'll get them to pull down the international restrictions on the floo station in our house," her dad answered.

" We could send her to my parents. They'll take her in and teach her how to control her outbursts," Lily's mum announced.

" Delphina your parents are worse than the people here," her dad pointed out.

" I know but we don't have any other option. We can't ask Darcy Auclair to protect her; he's got too much on his plate. Keeping her in England would result with all the people here remembering what she did. Obliviation Charms can be broken so that's out. Sending her to Greece is the best option," her mum argued.

" I guess so. What do we tell her future husband's family then," her dad said.

" Tell the parents and that's it. Make an unbreakable vow," Lily's mum suggested. Her dad nodded and looked at her. Lily closed her eyes and pretended to sleep.

" She's not going to be happy about this. But there's nothing else we can do. Either the Dark Lord will try to take her or she'll bring disgrace to our family. It's decided; Lily will stay in Greece with your parents until she is of age. Then we'll bring her back and she'll be her husband's problem," her dad finished. Lily felt betrayed. Her parents were sending her away for something so small. She didn't mean to set the Rosier Manor on fire, she really didn't.

A tear trickled down her cheek and she felt someone brush it away. When Lily opened her eyes her parents stood by her bed with her things out and ready to be packed. She remembered her dad pointing a wand at her and a spell hitting her. Back then she didn't know that it was an obliviation spell, but now she did.

Lily's last memory of that horrible night was seeing her parents look at her with disgusted eyes as she floo traveled from England to Greece.

* * *

**This was the original banishment flashback. I didn't use it since it seemed to confusing and very ridiculous. It also conflicted with the character development and plot I built.**

**The McKinnon family, in my original plot, was apart of the Holy seven. But I decided that it was contradictory to make half of the Holy Seven against its ideals. **

**Ask any questions and review!**

**- Rin**


	6. Chapter 6 Let Death be Our Savior

**Let Death be Our Savior**

_**"To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox.**_

_** People eventually get sick of waiting, **_

_**take a chance on someone, **_

_**and by the art of commitment become soul mates, **_

_**which takes a lifetime to perfect." **_

_**― Criss Jami**_

* * *

On her deathbed she didn't think about the war. She didn't think about the things she left or even her dead family. She didn't think about James, her sweet angel. James was the perfect blend of her and Charlus. He had her rich gold skin and her proud attitude. Maybe that wasn't the best mix with Charlus's dark good looks and his arrogant demeanor. But James had never failed her. His hazel eyes, replicas of the man she loved so much, always looked up to her with love and comfort. His chaotic hair had her inky black hue and Charlus's chaotic form. He had Charlus's muscular and tall form, which he carried with her hair of cockiness. His hands with long fingers came from her, but his aristocrat nose came from Charlus. James was her darling; he was her son and morning-glory. Yet on her deathbed, she didn't spare the son she loved with all her heart one thought. On Dorea Potter's deathbed, she remembered a promise she made decades ago. A promise she was about to break. Breathe in and breathe out. Her soul left her with that one last breath. A promise made so many memories ago, one that she could never truly keep.

Dorea Potter was a proud girl. Her differences from her peers only made that even louder. Unlike the girlish purebloods of England, Dorea was fearless. Her family descended from one of the first Black brothers. This brother hated living in the shadow of his older brothers so he moved his family to France, where they thrived for over two centuries. By the time the last heir of the French Black family, Dorea Calliope Black, was born, the Black family had made its way into the elite of France. Yet that all fell apart when Dorea was fifteen. Her parents died with hundreds of people in a bad Dragon Pox epidemic. Dorea barely survived to make the journey to live with some distant relatives of hers in England. The minute she landed in England, she hated it.

England was an eternally dreary place. The places, people, and lives were all gray. Gray rain poured from the gray sky on gray people. But Dorea had no choice in this situation. She was underage and these distant relatives of hers were the only people she had left. She boarded the train to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry two months after her parents died and began her sixth year at the school. She stood out against the grayness of her peers. Dorea was different from her short peers. She had a toned and lithe body from hours of Quidditch practice. Her height of 5'9 stood out sharply against her shorter than average peers. Her hair was a rich inky black that landed against her waist in elegant curls. Her peers all had washed out browns and blondes that made them look positively pasty. Dorea had rich midnight blue eyes, which were surrounded by a gleam of mystery. She was in plain terms different.

The first thing about England that stood out to Dorea was Charlus Potter. The bastard had the nerve to call her a pretentious French girl. Dorea was simply intrigued by Charlus Potter. He was the golden boy of the school, yet he was so quiet. She thought that his loud and brash girlfriend Marie Gastor had something to do with that. Dorea was fond of Marie; the two girls were the only bursts of sunlight in the tragic wasteland that was Hogwarts. Marie had amber skin and fiery red hair that stood in chaotic curls. Her eyes were a rich gold, the standard of the Gastor family. Marie was short and curvy but her loud attitude made up for that.

People wondered how Marie Gastor, prefect and seeker for the Ravenclaw team could be friends with lively Dorea Black, prefect and seeker for the Gryffindor team. It all came down to Charlus Potter. It was a strange mix, the friendship of Dorea Black and Charlus Potter. He was quiet but adored. She was loud yet envied from the masses. Their friendship didn't start out easily. At first the two were mortal enemies. People took bets as to which spells they would use in their daily duels in the corridors. The biggest gossip surrounded whether Dorea would finally break and use physical violence. No one expected to find Dorea and Charlus sitting in the Great Hall one March evening laughing loudly. It turns out that both held quiet a few things in common which they overlooked due to prejudice and pride.

The two became steadfast best friends. Their tragic childhoods and their passion bonded them for life. Two orphans with close to no one to love. Charlus loved Marie with all his heart for she was his soul mate. That's why it almost killed him when Marie and her father died. He lost everything in a swift heartbreaking tale. Charlus Potter fell from Grace when he beloved Marie died. But Dorea didn't let him break. She fought for him to stay and keep trying over and over again, until finally he accepted Marie's death. After school ended, the two went on to live separate but intercrossing lives. Charlus quickly rose to the position of Wizengamot member in less than a year, all while taking care of his ward William Gastor. Dorea went on to become a successful healer. A promise she made years ago faded to a distant memory. That was until the day when Charlus Potter became a death eater.

Dorea and Charlus were apart of a society falling apart. Their world was splitting in two; those who supported muggle rights and those who didn't. Charlus Potter was a proud and silent man. His outgoing personality could only be brought out by one thing; passion. Dorea knew how to do that. Two years went by and the two slowly forgot about each other. Dorea worked alongside the works of Albus Dumbledore in hopes to form an organization to battle the newly formed Knights of Walpurgis. That didn't happen for another six years when Delphina Gastor came to England. But Dorea was faltering; she didn't know what she wanted. In all honesty, Dorea couldn't care for muggles. She just didn't think that innocent civilians should die. Charlus on the other hand, was doing the killing.

See after Marie Gastor died, the only thing keeping the two together was the bond of being Head students. After school ended the friendship slowly began to wilt away. Charlus blamed it on his grief; Dorea blamed it on the tension building inside of her friend. He was a ticking time bomb, destined to implode. They met again thanks to a little trouble known as the annual Pureblood Christmas Ball. Two strangers forced to go by their friends came in. Two lifelong friends left the ball. It all came down to a dance that sparked life in Charlus's dead soul. Dorea lost her virginity that night in the spare bedroom of the Prewitt Manor. Charlus courted her for a tumultuous two years. She ended up moving in with him after he proposed under a starry night in Paris. The two raised William Gastor until his inevitable heartbreak when Rosaline Whitewood chose Darcy Auclair over him. Right before William left, Charlus Potter made Dorea Black Dorea Potter. Their wedding was the talk of the decade. The heir to the Potter fortune marries the heir to the French line of the Black family.

It was a grand wedding complete with an equally grand honeymoon. The marriage was envious to the point of the fairytale marriage of William Gastor and Delphina Lilius. Yet there was a secret in the marriage of Charlus Potter and Dorea Potter. On the night of the annual Christmas ball held in the Prewitt Manor, Dorea and Charlus felt something inside for the first time in two years. The two of them weren't soul mates, but their friendship held so much passion and energy in it that the two lost souls felt something for the first time in years. Dorea knew that Charlus would never love her like her beloved Marie, but she was okay with that. They always say that you should marry your best friend.

Twenty years after the pair graduated from the walls of Hogwarts, a son was born. Dorea was in no rush to have children, and Charlus agreed. After raising his ward William Gastor for five years, they were tired. Dorea adored the Gastors, in fact the couple made many visits to the Gastor family over the course of the thirteen years before the birth of Lily Gastor. Being named Jason Gastor's godmother touched Dorea. Emotions stirred in Charlus the first time he held Lily Marie Gastor. Two months later, the long-married couple had their first, and only child, James Charlus Potter.

Months later, the two families had a summer dinner together. James and Lily fell asleep within the first hour of it. Jason Gastor, well he fell asleep with his baby sister to protect her from James's messy hair. While Dorea and Delphina were watching the other children play, Charlus and William sat in the office of Potter Manor. A proposal was made and both sides agreed. William was more than happy that his older brother-like figure's son and his daughter would be getting married. Charlus however wanted his son to never go through the heartbreak of losing his soul mate. Little did he know that James and Lily were soul mates.

The Potter family had no secrets. Charlus was open with his involvement in the death eater movement. Dorea told him about her purpose in the Order. Yet their friendship was too deep for something as trivial as this to break their relationship. Neither of them cared much for the war, it was enthralling for them to be on different sides for once in such a long time. Yet when Charlus took James to a death eater meeting for the first time, Dorea knew that she had lost. She stopped attending Order meetings and had Delphina Gastor obliviated all memories of the Order from her mind. She couldn't fight a way where one day her son would be on the opposing battle side.

Their love was a lie. Charlus and Dorea Potter were the definition of best friends. They were two lost souls enveloped in their own misery and grief. But in the gray world they lived in, they gave each other a beacon of light.

On Dorea's deathbed, she thought about a promise she made to never leave Charlus. The thing is, even when the two weren't in contact for over two years, she was always with him. Her presence lingered as he battled his lose and grief. His presence lingered as she mourned the death of her close friend and parents. The two, even apart, still had each other.

The day Dorea Potter died, she left the man she loved with all her heart behind. She knew that he could never love her, because if he ever let his feelings for her become reality then she would lose hers for him. Charlus sacrificed all his love for the girl he wanted to love so that she could be happy.

He was the love of her life, but he couldn't let het be the love of his life. When Dorea Potter died she left him behind and let her parents embrace her. She could see Marie Gastor's ageless smile as she died. In that mere moment she knew that her life was worth it. Dorea Potter was a beacon of light in an otherwise gray world. Two months later, a pair of hazel eyes met hers. It was over, the curse was over.

Marie smiled as she watched her love. She knew that Charlus wasn't going to choose her. Marie may have been his soul mate, but she didn't know the Charlus Potter in front of her. She only knew the Charlus Potter of her youth. But that was fine; because when Charlus chose Dorea, Marie turned and let the embrace of her dead parents and brother comfort her. She was whole again. Marie had her family.

Dorea stood next to Marie Gastor. When Charlus looked at the two girls, he didn't choose his soul mate, he chose the girl who stood by him even though he was flawed. Finally Charlus and Dorea could love each other without a curse getting in the way. Death was their savior, death was really on their side this whole time.

* * *

**Sorry for deleting this! I was trying to write something for it, but I didn't have any ideas. Finally this one hit me in the heart. My beta is away so I will be taking a week from Confingo. However that doesn't mean that I'm taking a break from Animus. If readers ask for any one-shots in the review section of Confingo or Animus, I will try to write them. **

**Someone asked about a one-shot with James opening his letter. I assure readers that I have thought about that; James's story with his letter will be revealed in a later chapter. Something in the letter pertains to the main plot of Confingo. **

**Please ask questions and for one-shot ideas!**

**R&R**

**- Rin **


	7. Chapter 7 A Mango-Tinged Cliche

**A Mango-Tinged Cliché**

_**"If my love were an ocean,  
there would be no more land.  
If my love were a desert,  
you would see only sand.  
If my love were a star-  
late at night, only light.  
And if my love could grow wings,  
I'd be soaring in flight."**_

_**- Jay Asher**_

* * *

He loves and loves and loves her. But love is such a clichéd redundant word. It lost the sparkling gleam it once had. It's a crown jewel that everyone's seen. But when it was Lily and only Lily love gleaned and sparkled again. It transformed into a crown of shining glistening treasures.

Love choked butterflies from his stomach. It spiraled emotions and feelings. Love clung to his ever-present smirk and caressed his tousled hair. Love pumped through her blood, like adrenaline. She felt love pounding its way from her heart and into her veins. Love oh sweet love, was so different with Lily and James.

She loves him oh she loves him. Loves erupts like a volcano from her stomach. But she doesn't choke on the smoke and flames she breathes them in. It twinkles like the fairy lights she threw across her room as a child, sending dances of ecstasy into her lungs. Love bitter; pirouetting love was not the cliché she thought it would be.

He loves the hollow of her chest, the place where he can listen to the pounding tick tock of her heart. He loves her crazed crimson curls, which have gleams of gold and orange. He loves her voice, oh her sweet sweet voice. He loves the sultry curves of her mind. He loves her, he loves her essence, he loves Lily.

She loves the firm tangent surface of his chest. If she leans against it, their hearts beat in unison. She loves the playful spiraling gleam in his tumultuous eyes. She loves his deep echoing voice with baritones like no other. She loves the blood hammering in his body. She loves him she loves his soul, she loves James.

Love broke the bittersweet ties of their past. It lit the flames tickling their tongues. The flames brushing their teeth the flames that clashed when they kissed. The green glazed state of her flames against the bursting hazel texture of his.

Smoke shadowed them. Tangent bittersweet smoke locked them in a fire. But there was love. Love brushed the burns and made them bearable. But it wasn't always that way. The flames used to send twists and marks catapulting onto their tear stained cheeks.

He shoved the moon into her; she took the sun and threw it at him. The stars cried and cried, gasoline tears staining the space between them. But there was love, sweet merciless love.

It singed their gasoline stained tears. It burned their gossamer wings. Fire and fire round and round love went. Love erupted from their very beings, it was like their air, and without it death would surely some.

Darkness ricocheted off the world they lived in. It caressed every soul and every flame. They fell and fell into the waves and sea of darkness, but they were James and Lily.

Love made the waves of the ocean turn a faded red. Love slowly exploded from their throats. He wanted to love and love and always love her. She wanted to love him always. He wanted to climb the mountains of her mind and rip shards of dreams from her. She wanted to blow dandelions onto his sun kissed skin.

He thought that love was clichéd. She didn't want to be a cliché. But then there was love. Sweet dulcet blissful mind blowing love. He wanted dreams of forever and ever with only her. She was so scared so so scared. Fear crept into her mind making love distant.

She built webs. Webs of dewdrops and pain. Webs of blood and mango tinged melodies. She hid and that slowly and precisely broke him. He wanted to love her she wanted to protect him.

She broke them. She cried and he cried, tears of golden tears for golden days. Memories of silver blew by like a windmill. He felt pain stifle his ever-beating heart with chopping measures. He saw blues and she saw blues.

Time stilled it slowed. Her pain, her horrible pain didn't. It shot bullets through her violently with not mercy. His loss his nightmares didn't slow. They grew and grew into a large horrible mountain, which he couldn't climb.

But then she remembered and she remembered. Memories that she worked so so hard to block from her mind exploded in a series of mango-tinged fireworks. They grabbed her and threw her and shot her to the stars and the moon.

He lost the pale omniscient glow of his youth hiding behind a shield of courage. But then he smiled he smiled and smiled. Bursts of mango tinged joy shot from him. They pulled him into the stars and moon.

She was Lily a mango-tinged hailstorm of grief. He was James, a fiery inferno of persistence. He glowed and shone in the summer sun. She took the gentle comforting winter moon embrace. But they catapulted to the stars.

She could say that she once refused to be a cliché. He said that love was a cliché, but she was willing to be one for him and only him.

Their hearts pounded sending them skyrocketing to the drops of terra firma. He loves her and she loves him. They are a mango-tinged cliché, but that's okay since he loves her and she loves him.

* * *

**I wrote this a while ago but I wanted to fix some stuff in it. This actually doesn't have much to do with Confingo. But it was an inspiration for the next thing I have planned once I finish Confingo. I have this idea for another Jily piece, but whenever I try to write it, Confingo demands attention. I'm also not that keen on writing two pieces at the same time. So once Confingo is complete do not worry, there's another story coming. **

**The next thing I have planned is set in Lily and James's seventh year. It has an All Over Again air to it regarding the Marauders. But it flashes back from their 5th year to their 7th. It mainly deals with the concept of grief and how the war forced the people of the Marauders' generation to grow up too soon. The James i have planned out for it is a bit of an arse, but he will have his reasons. Lily will be hit hard by two deaths that defined her life in Hogwarts. **

**But that idea is just an idea and Confingo has a lot of work ahead of it. Confingo is not even at the halfway point yet. **

**R&R**

**- Rin**


	8. Chapter 8 Personal Dosage of Nightshade

**A Personal Dosage of Nightshade**

_**"It was a mistake," you said.**_

_** But the cruel thing was, **_

_**it felt like the mistake was mine, **_

_**for trusting you." **_

_**― David Leviathan**_

* * *

The thing about love is that sometimes it can be poisonous. Its hold can slowly burn someone's soul to the point of no return. Look at Julius Gastor. He makes it his life mission to burn the image of sweet golden-boy Jules Gastor from people's heads. He turned into one of the most ruthless death eaters in all of England thanks to Andromeda Black leaving him. But he wasn't aware that Andromeda left him for love; she left him so that he could live to see another day. That's between Andromeda Black and William Gastor though. Somewhere in the realm of Nightshade and Belladonna also lies love. But that isn't the case for everybody. Adam McKinnon and Emmeline Vance would hardly say that love is poison, even with their original hatred for each other. _For people like Marlene McKinnon love is the most deadly poison in the world_.

This story starts off with two innocent eleven year olds. A girl in an adorable ocean blue dress and a boy in a pair of black dress robes. The girl was so excited and innocent; she was free to see the world. The boy was bored of the entire affair; he wanted to escape with his friends for a game of Quidditch or mischief. But that wasn't what fate had in store for them.

When Marlene McKinnon first laid eyes on Sirius Black she thought about how her mum used to use a spell to curl her hair. Sirius Black had the most elegant curls in the world. But there was a gleam in his eyes that confused Marlene; it was pure chaos. Later when she found out that they were betrothed, Marlene was sure that Sirius Orion Black was a perfect gentleman. That was before their third year at Hogwarts.

When Sirius Black first saw Marlene McKinnon, he couldn't stop staring at the dancing girl. He'd never seen such a buoyant and innocent person before. Marlene twirled around the ball with grace and freedom; Sirius didn't know how to handle her without shattering her delicate innocence. When he found out that they were betrothed, Sirius was shocked. He was mischievous and demanding; this small dancing girl couldn't support him. But in their first year at Hogwarts when Sirius teased Marlene for getting sorted into Gryffindor, Marlene used a hex that her older brother taught her. Even though Sirius had to go to the hospital wing to get the boils off, he couldn't help but be amused by the small girl's show of spirit. The games had only started.

For the next two years, the two children skirted around each other. Sirius and his friends rose through the throngs of popularity. He used the standard Black charm to wink and flirt at pretty girls. But Sirius didn't miss Marlene and the Prewitt boy staring at each other with coy eyes. It annoyed him that Marlene refused to seek the friendship of her dorm mates. Instead she chose to befriend blood traitors like Michael Wood and half bloods like Benjy Fenwick. She preferred to hang out with her brother's crowd. Sirius was confused by her participation with the older Gryffindors; it took his friends and him hard work to rise to the top. Yet Marlene was the Queen of Gryffindor within a few months.

For two years, Marlene was stuck in between friendship and hatred with Sirius Black. Marlene discovered that the girls in her year were petty creatures. They were jealous of her status in society and her situation with the handsome Sirius Black. They were envious of Marlene's gorgeous body and her entrancing midnight blue hair. They were jealous that Marlene grew six inched during the summer before third year and came back wearing bras. They didn't understand that Marlene hated her life. So Marlene befriended Michael Wood, the Quidditch maniac of Gryffindor, and Benjy Fenwick the bookworm. They were an odd group. Michael was the undecided leader of the trio. Benjy was the smart one who assisted with homework assignments. Marlene was the glue that held them together. She and Michael made the Quidditch team in their second year; that's when the group merged with Adam McKinnon's crowd.

Michael was friends with the Prewitts and Frank from Charms school, so they instantly rekindled their friendship. Benjy hit it off with Gideon Prewitt and Frank Longbottom. Marlene found girlfriends with the rule-abiding Alice Prewitt and the spitfire Emmeline Vance. She loved watching Emmeline and her brother spit heated arguments over the Gryffindor Common Room. She grinned when Adam and Emmeline got over their hatred for each other and ended up snogging in a broom closet in their fifth year. All together the group was a happy bunch for the next five years.

In Marlene's third year everything changed. She was called home one weekend in March to attend the Coming of Age ball for Lucius Malfoy. It was there that she saw Sirius and his friends flash their dark marks proudly. A confrontation between her and Sirius killed whatever hopes they had for a good friendship. For the rest of the year, the two began distant. Sirius rose to Hogwarts royalty with his friends. Marlene stayed with her friends in a steady relationship. It was only during the summer before fifth year that everything changed.

A note on the virginity of Sirius Black. He lost it in third year to Trinity Bankcloth, a seventh year Ravenclaw. After she set out to teach the young Black everything she knew about the art of seduction, she obliviated her own memory to preserve the mystery that was Sirius Black's virginity. During fourth year, Sirius Black and James Potter went out on their mission to sleep with every girl above fifth year. After the Christmas Holidays of the boys' fourth year, Jason Gastor joined their crusade. Remus Lupin never had as much exuberance as his comrades, but he did sleep with a few Ravenclaws and about two Hufflepuffs. But all the Marauders made it clear that any girl who tried to sleep with all of them would be punished. They refused to be one-upped by some skank.

During the Coming of Age ball for Evan Rosier everything changed. Marlene was alone since Emmeline and Adam had snuck off to one of the bedrooms of the Rosier Manor. Michael ditched her for a Hufflepuff girl and the Prewitt twins couldn't come since their aunt, Alice's mum was ill. Alice and Frank were with her mum at the Prewitt townhouse in Liverpool. Marlene sat at her table pretending to listen to a conversation between Charlus Potter and Rufus Scrimgeour. She had a flask under the table and took gulps of firewhiskey when no one was looking. Marlene was only fifteen after all. She ached for a cigarette; damn Black for teaching her how to smoke last summer.

Her mum became aware of the hatred between her daughter and Sirius Black. After a month of torturous death, Mrs. McKinnon sent Marlene with Sirius to the Black Countryside Manor for two weeks. There was no adult supervision save for Sirius's senile uncle Alphard Black. But the older gentleman was more interested in pruning his mandrakes than keeping the two underage teens from killing each other. The first week went by quickly, with Marlene going out to the Quidditch Pitch or exploring the nearby forest. Sirius spent it shagging the local muggle town girls. Marlene thought that was awfully hypocritical. The atmosphere of the manor changed when Marlene received a letter from Alice. She was distraught when her friend informed her that Neville Prewitt was dead. Marlene snuck into the Black family liquor supplies and tried to drown herself in misery.

All of her friends had each other to support themselves, but Marlene was alone. She wanted to hug Benjy and hold Emmeline's hand. She wanted Adam to run his hand through her hair with his brotherly touch. Marlene wanted her true family to be with her. But instead she got Black. He found her down in the cellar sipping from a bottle of aged mead and several empty bottles around her. Black didn't speak; instead he sat next to Marlene and used his wand to light a magic cigarette. Marlene watched spirals of smoke lace through the sky and air. Black nudged her shoulder and offered her one from his pack. Marlene remembered choking when she took her first inhalation of the stub. Black didn't laugh; instead he wrapped an arm around her back and opened a bottle of firewhiskey. Marlene ended up falling asleep on the floor of the cellar that night. The next morning she woke with a fondness for cigarette smoke and Black's missing presence.

" McKinnon dance with me?" a voice asked. Marlene looked up and met the startling gold eyes of Jason Gastor. She never had anything against the tall boy. In fact Marlene had enjoyed Jason's company at some of the balls she attended over the likes of Black and Potter. Jason and Remus Lupin were kinder than Black and Potter. But Marlene was sure that Jason was only kind to her due to his mum's feminist upbringing. Marlene looked up to Delphina Gastor. Mrs. Gastor was one of the few pureblood wives who chose to work. She had it harder than most pureblood housewives since not only did Mrs. Gastor have five sons, she also held several galas and brunches at the Gastor Manor. Marlene's mum thought that Mrs. Gastor was a superhuman. All of the Gastor sons turned out to be successful and perfect gentlemen. Other than the disgrace of Andromeda Black leaving the eldest at the altar, the family held one of the finest reputations in society. Marlene stood and brushed the skirt of her sliver dress robes down.

" Gastor aren't you supposed to be shagging someone right now?" Marlene teased as she took Jason's outstretched hand. He grinned toothily at her and led her over to the dance floor. Marlene could see Evan Rosier dancing with his sister Eliza. She had always been jealous of the Rosier family's looks. The family had a muddled history with several veela women, which led to the silvery blonde hair and sky blue eyes of the Rosier clan. Marlene on the other hand had deep midnight black hair and a set of cobalt eyes. She didn't have any striking features other than her height and womanly body. Marlene felt inadequate around the likes of Eliza Rosier and Jason Gastor.

" I should be. But James snatched the girl I was seducing when I was getting some refreshments for her. I saw you sitting alone and knew that your mum would throw a fit if her daughter wasn't dancing with a decent boy," Jason explained.

His hands sat on the edge of Marlene's waist and his lips pulled up into a smile. Marlene couldn't remember a time when she hadn't seen Jason Gastor smiling. He was just a happy bloke in general. But Marlene could always see a hidden twinge of pain in those gold eyes. He was hiding something, but Marlene never bothered to question him.

" You're quite the knight in shining armor Mr. Gastor," Marlene teased. Her hands rested on his broad shoulders and her body was tucked into his large one. The Gastors were tall and muscular, but there was a certain lean figure to them. All of the sons looked like brothers or even twins , excluding the second oldest Pericles. Marlene could see Mr. Gastor's sharp jaw line and nose in Pericles's face, but the boy had more of flaxen hair than gold hair. He wasn't muscular like the others, rather so lean and a tad strapping. Marlene heard from her mum that he was a healer. Marlene always had a certain fancy for being a healer. She was good at helping people with injuries and had a knack for healing spells. But it depended on whether Black would let her work or not.

" I dunno McKinnon. I don't have the hero personality do I?" Jason answered. Marlene hummed lightly and let the waves of the music wash over her. She wasn't too fond of the incessant classical and romantic music played at balls like this. Marlene looked up and saw that Eliza Rosier was dancing with Lucian Gastor. The two of them made a cute couple in Marlene's opinion. Lucian had a similar build to Jason, except that he had wavy hair and not Jason's loose curls. Eliza looked so delicate in Lucian's arms though. Marlene could see a loving gaze in the boy's eyes as he held his future wife. The same one was present on Eliza. Marlene longed for something like that. But Black was an arse; he could never be as sweet as Lucian Gastor.

" I dunno Gastor you sure seem pretty charismatic. I saw you dancing with Abilene Macnair earlier," Marlene replied. Abilene Macnair was a small first year at Hogwarts. Marlene found it simply hysterical that the fearsome Jason Gastor had a soft spot for children. One of Marlene's favorite activities at these balls was watching the golden boy Jason Gastor dance with eleven year olds and first years. He had this kind smile for the younger students when he tutored them in Astronomy. But Marlene promised not to tell anyone that Jason tutored the first years.

" Abilene Macnair has puppy eyes McKinnon. I swear I was about to give her my entire inheritance," Jason answered with a suave grin. Marlene swayed in his hold and let out a peal of musical laughter. Her mum said that her laugh was one of her better qualities.

" Gastor I'm sure that all of those future nieces of yours will have a grand time taking advantage of you," Marlene teased. Jason blushed slightly and his eyes flew to a couple near them. Marlene could see Cassius Gastor dancing with Natasha Goyle. Cassius Gastor was quiet and the brooding sort of man. But when he spoke, his words held a gravitational pull. Marlene thought that quiet Natasha Goyle was the right sort of girl for him. Natasha was a petite girl, thanks to her mum's Greengrass genes, with Carmel hair and amber eyes. Marlene was jealous of Natasha's musical voice. Marlene's voice was rather low and husky compared to most girls.

" I'm only praying that my brothers have a hoard of boys. I'll be able to stand little golden-haired boys longer than girls," Jason answered with a laugh.

" I was reading Witch Weekly the other night. Is it true that Julius is dating Helena Bulstrode?" Marlene asked. Jason frowned and pushed a strand of hair from his eyes. Marlene could see a brooding mood coming onto the tall boy.

"Bulstrode is engaged to one of his teammate McKinnon. Julius isn't going to marry until my dad threatens his place as heir. Even then Julius probably won't," Jason sighed. Marlene frowned and remembered Jason telling her that Julius never really got over Andromeda Black. Julius Gastor was one of the mystical things that gossip magazines loved to talk about. His tragic and heartbreaking romance life was common gossip. Julius Gastor never held another girl in his company after his first and last relationship. Marlene heard rumors about him being a death eater and how he preferred hunting muggleborns to sex. She shuddered at the thought of Jason being a death eater. He was one of the few Slytherins she could still stand.

" Interesting. Well don't worry Gastor. I'm sure that from the way Rosier is looking at your brother, you'll have a hoard of veela-gened nieces," Marlene announced. She watched as Jason's troubled expression left and he grinned slightly.

" Imagine that McKinnon. I'll spend my days taking them out for ice creams," Jason drawled with a devilish grin. Before Marlene could quip out an answer, a deep voice interrupted her and Jason's dance.

" Jason I'm afraid that you'll have to buy my and McKinnon's children ice creams also," a voice mocked. Marlene's heart pumped dread through her veins; looks like Black decided to make an appearance. She scowled at the sight of the disheveled boy she was destined to marry. Black stood to her left wearing a pair of black dress robes. His tie was askew and his hair was in perfect condition. Marlene was sure that Black's hair was glossier than her own. He towered over her and stood a hair below Jason. But that was only due to Jason's mop of chaotic waves and curls.

" McKinnon you look ravishing. Care to dance?" Black drawled. Marlene scowled at him as his eyes traced her figure. She should have worn a less provocative dress. Jason let go of her and his eyes were focused on something behind Marlene.

"Padfoot my dad is practically dry humping my mum in public. I'm going to go and check up on them. I swear it's like I'm the bloody parent here. McKinnon just dance with Sirius, you always end up with him at some point during a ball," Jason announced. He brushed past Marlene and Sirius towards his parents. Marlene grinned at the sight of Mr. Gastor and Mrs. Gastor. The two of them were kissing each other lightly as they swayed slightly. Marlene wished that she could have a love like they did. Even after almost thirty years of marriage, the two of them were still clearly in love.

" You know that we could be like them if you'd let me in," Black purred in her ear. Marlene turned and he grabbed her hips. Black pulled her close to his form. Even at Marlene's height of 5'8, Black still seemed to tower over her. Her lips barely brushed the edge of his chin. He moved them in a light sway that fit the music playing in the background.

" Black we'll never be like the Gastors. You're too in love with yourself to even notice anyone else," Marlene answered dryly. Black pursed his lips and pulled Marlene in for a low dip. She could feel several people watching them dance. Her mum said that when she and Sirius were together, they attracted other people's attention since both of them seemed to finish each other. Marlene snorted at that idea. It was more like Black's fan girls were trying to kill her with their eyes.

" McKinnon I'll always have a spot for you in my heart. Along with our future children and the memories of the sex we'll have," Black whispered in her ear. Marlene pressed the edge of her heel into his foot and he grunted in pain. That was Marlene's favorite sound. He pulled her up and frowned at her. Marlene looked across the ballroom and saw that her parents were standing together with only the edge of their fingers touching.

She hated the relationship between her parents. It wasn't a betrothal but rather a marriage made for convenience and rise in power. The McKinnons were members of the Sacred 28, yet they were right in the middle. When Marlene's dad married her mum, who was a member of the Fawley family, Marlene's family rose to the higher ranks of society due to her mum's large dowry. This settled the issue of finding suitable betrothals for the two McKinnon children, Adam and Marlene.

Marlene's parents never loved each other. Her mum was greedy and wanted to rise in society through Marlene and Adam. Marlene adored her dad though. He was the one who ensured that she was allowed to play Quidditch and go to concerts. Mr. McKinnon was also a fan of the Weird Sisters, coincidently. Yet he kept up appearance with his stubborn wife in public. Marlene wanted a relationship different from her parents', yet she knew there was a chance she would end up like them.

Black didn't show hatred for her. He actually seemed to get a rise from getting her annoyed and angry. Yet he was cold and harsh to others. Marlene didn't understand him. She didn't want to either. She blinked and noticed that the song ended and Black was dragging her to his table. Marlene could feel his hands curled around her waist and her body tucked into his side. Black was an affectionate person who craved human contact; Marlene had the same personality to some extant. She didn't fancy the methods of shagging anything that had boobs like Black did.

" McKinnon look alive, my mum has been dying to know how you're doing," Black whispered into her ear. It looked affectionate from afar, but Marlene knew that Black liked to appear as the happy future married man in front of the elders. Once they got to school, he would be back in broom closet with the closest Hufflepuff.

After exchanging small talk with a hen-like Mrs. Black, Marlene polished off two bottles of firewhiskey that Black had brought to her. She didn't notice the way he watched her as she spoke with Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy. Around eleven, Marlene walked towards the back of the Rosier Manor holding her heels in one hand. She slipped into the garden and admired the unique roses.

" McKinnon why are you out here? You're going to freeze in that dress," Black drawled from behind her. Marlene ran a hand through her hair in frustration; why did Black follow her everywhere. She whirled around ready to scold him but stopped when she noticed the closeness between them. If she moved an inch forward, Marlene's lips would brush the edge of Black's chin. He leaned his head down and gazed into her eyes with a gleam in his eyes. His breath smelled of firewhiskey, and Marlene was sure that hers did too.

The last thing that Marlene remembered from that night was the look of anticipation in Black's eyes. She woke the next morning with the sun shining down on her. Marlene made a noise of protest and turned. She felt something hard wrapped around her waist. Marlene screamed with shock when she noticed that Black was sleeping next to her fully nude. She noticed that she was also fully nude. Black's peacefully face warped into a groggy one as he opened his eyes. Marlene wrapped the sheets around her body and looked around. From the silver and emerald-green décor on the walls and room, Marlene was sure that she was in Black's bedroom. She saw that her dress and bra were on the ground. Marlene slipped them on as Black started to sit up. She frowned and looked around the messy room for her lace underwear.

Marlene froze when she saw them on the edge of Black's bed ripped into shreds. But that wasn't what shocked her. What shocked her was the bloodstain on Black's bed. Marlene felt a pulse of soreness flood through her lower region. A tear fell down her face as she realized what happened.

" McKinnon what are you doing? Come back to bed," Black groaned. Marlene turned to him with a murderous expression. She threw his sheets on the floor of his room before grabbing her wand from the floor. Marlene flew at Black and punched him in the face. He cursed loudly and Marlene got a few more shots in before Black flipped them so she was pinned under him. Marlene writhed under him and snarled at his amused face.

" McKinnon this is such a turn on. But I'm bleeding so if you could stop hitting me then we can continue where we left off," Black purred. Marlene froze and looked up to him with a pained expression.

" Did we… Last night?" Marlene croaked. Black frowned and brushed a strand of his hair from his eyes.

" Yes McKinnon. I took your virginity if that's what you're asking," Black answered. Marlene shoved him off her and slid off the bed. Oh fucking Merlin, Marlene thought. I just lost my virginity to the same man that practically every Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff lost theirs to. Marlene wiped the tears from her eyes furiously and slipped her shoes on. She moved to the door of Black's bedroom and her hand rested on doorknob. Suddenly someone grabbed her and turned her around. Marlene stared blankly at the sight of Black wearing nothing but Boxers.

" Look McKinnon the potion I spiked your drink with only worked if you had feelings for me," Black started. Marlene's heart thumped angrily against her chest as she narrowed her eyes at Black.

" You spiked my drink! Black you just drugged me into sleeping with you! I wasn't supposed to be like them. I 'm supposed to be different," Marlene exclaimed. She shoved Black's chest and tried to pry her arm from his grip. Black frowned and tilted his chin up with a gleam in his eyes.

" McKinnon stop your shit about being different. This was inevitable. What did you actually think that Prewitt or that arse Wood was going to take your virginity? Well you're an idiot if you thought that I wasn't going to be the first and only person you'd sleep with," Black hissed angrily. Marlene stared at him with a gape. He was trying to be the victim. Marlene felt so revolted in that moment. She pulled her hand from Black's and opened the door. Marlene walked out of the hallway and down the stairs to the main door to Black's house. She was thankful that his parents and little brother weren't awake yet.

" McKinnon wait," Black called out. Marlene froze for a moment before swinging the door open. She stood on the stoop and faced Black. He was still in his boxers and his dark mark was clear on his arm. Marlene sneered at the sight of the ugly mark. Black usually used a concealment charm on it when he was shagging girl, Marlene gathered from other girls who'd slept with him. She was disgusted with Black for drugging her and at herself for even trusting Black with something like getting her a drink.

" You can't even say my fucking name Sirius! You had to drug me to sleep with you. I assure you that I will never be so stupid to do something like this ever again," Marlene shouted. Tears fell from her face as she slammed the door shut and walked through the streets of London. Marlene knew that people were staring at her as she sobbed, but she didn't have another option. Marlene couldn't use magic and she didn't have any money. She walked until about midmorning before finally reaching the Leaky Cauldron. Marlene felt her heart lift in relief when she saw a group of her dad's coworkers. She got one of them to apparate her home. After thanking the man Marlene entered her house and saw Adam standing in the entrance hall watching her with a frown. His face softened when he saw the agony and tears in Marlene's eyes. Adam moved across the hall and pulled Marlene into a tight hug. She cried and sobbed into Adam's shoulders.

Marlene wasn't innocent anymore. Black was forever linked to her. He took her virginity so now Black had imbedded himself into Marlene's life even deeper. He showed her that he was like a poison. Sirius Black was a cigarette; once you started you couldn't stop until finally you were dead. But Marlene was strong enough to abstain from her own selected brand of nightshade. She promised herself that a marriage with Sirius Orion Black would be one filled with abstinence. But soon she would realize that avoiding a poison didn't make one immune to it. Rather, it made one more likely to succumb to it.

Marlene McKinnon chose her own poison it was time she learned how to make herself immune to Sirius Oirion Black, her own personal dosage of Nightshade.

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**So this is the story behind Marlene and Sirius. It will be revealed in further detail in Confingo. A reviewer asked about the name I chose for this story. I found it rather coincidental that the blasting spell is called Confringo. Confringo means "I break," This wouldn't have suited the purpose of my story though.**

**I take Latin so I've grown fond of names relating to to the language. Confingo means "I Fabricate" in Latin. That should be enough of a clue for the name of Confingo...**

**I don't plan on writing a one shot on William and Delphina. But don't worry, their story will lace its way into Confingo. I promise that readers will get the full truth of the Gastor parents and why Delphina left her first love and family behind for a mystery man. Here's a spoiler from the William and Delphina story; William Gastor goes to Greece directly after Rosaline Whitewood choose Darcy Auclair over him. But he doesn't speak to Delphina there. Delphina and William speak for the first time in a bar in New York City. Let's say that Delphina Lilius has a certain knack for curiosity in broken men sitting alone at the bar which she happens to work at...**

**I think that the next one-shot I will be releasing will be a story about either Emmeline and Adam or Michael. People have asked about Jason. I can say that Jason will have a large input into Chapter 14 of Confingo... **

**Also, **

**Review any other ideas for a one-shot!**

**R&R **

**- Rin**


	9. Chapter 9 Stay Gold

**Stay Gold**

_**Hold on to sixteen as long as you can**_

_**Changes come around real soon**_

_**Make us women and men**_

_**- John Mellencamp**_

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" Rick why can't you come to King's Cross?" a small girl demanded. She pouted at her older brother with a disbelieving expression. A tall man with cropped chestnut hair smiled at her. His steel-blue eyes met her icy blue ones with a nostalgic gleam.

" Mel I'm leaving for the States tonight. You're going to Hogwarts tomorrow. I assure you that you'll be able to make loads of friends without me," the man assured. Emmeline sighed and pulled on the button of her shirt with a reluctant expression.

" You'll write to me Rick. Right?" Emmeline asked in a soft voice. Her brother's dimples pulled into a tight smile as he leaned down to his small sister. Emmeline hugged the material of her shirt as Rick knelt next to her.

" Of course I will Mel. I want to know everything. You've got to be my little reporter and tell me about how your teachers and classes are going," Rick declared with a grin. Emmeline's thick lips pulled into a wide smile as she nodded eagerly. Her brother ruffled the mess that was her hair with a chuckle.

" Now tell me what house you want to be in," Rick ordered. Emmeline jumped up and sat against the headboard of Rick's bed. She loved Rick's house in the Vance Estate more than she liked her own. Rick had a perfect view over the small river that marked the cut off between the Vance Estate and the small village of Aiden. Emmeline spent most of her life in the small muggle village or in the Vance Estate.

Unlike most pureblood estates, the Vance Estate wasn't an old and large estate. It held a certain distinction to it since a river bordered two of its sides. On the other two sides was a thick forest that spread over a ten-mile radius. The Vance Estate was made of three houses.

The main one was the original Manor house of the Vance family. It had been reduced to a fraction of its size during a fire created by a Common Welsh Green a century ago. Emmeline's great-grandfather decided to create an estate instead of a manor. He built a large Victorian house that sat in the entry of the land. Emmeline's family called it Rydal for one of her ancestors. Emmeline and her parents lived in Rydal.

The second house was more of a cottage of sorts. It held a certain charm and honeysuckle plants clung to the walls of the house. It was named for the various Willow trees that grew along the path leading to the house. Emmeline was hoping to live in Willow Cottage when she turned sixteen. A Vance family tradition was giving the children one of the houses to live in. Rick moved out of Rydal when he was fifteen and took over the third house, Summerset.

Summerset was a Mediterranean house that sat close to the river. It held a small rocky beach and the boat dock. Rick spent his summers swimming in the Vance River every morning. Emmeline remembered the days when he took her for boat rides early in the morning fondly.

Emmeline loved Summerset since she could see the sun rising from the glass back walls of the house. She loved it since it was where Rick was. Emmeline's heart panged slightly; Rick was leaving to work in the Auror department in the States the next day. He graduated from Hogwarts only two months ago and he was already leaving Emmeline behind to make his own life.

Emmeline was so jealous of Rick. He wasn't trapped in a betrothal to some snotty pureblood like she was. Emmeline bit her lip at the memory of her Entrance to Society Ball. She enjoyed meeting several witches her age like Alice Prewitt and Natasha Goyle. Emmeline didn't enjoy meeting Adam McKinnon her betrothed.

The first thing she noticed about Adam was the way his eyes gleamed with adventure. The second thing Emmeline noticed about Adam McKinnon was his hand tugging on her hair as he teased her about her chaotic curls. Emmeline's parents were ashamed when their daughter proceeded to throw a piece of cake on Adam and he soon followed in her actions.

Emmeline was dreading Hogwarts since she would have to go to school with Adam. But she wasn't going to let a stupid boy get in the way of her dreams. Emmeline Vance wasn't afraid of anything. She remembered the story of her father telling her about their ancestors battling dragons and forcing them to retreat to the Mountains of Wales. She was Emmeline Vance, descendant of dragon slayers; she wasn't afraid of anything.

" I'm going to be in Gryffindor since I'm not afraid of anything," Emmeline declared with a wide smile. Her brother frowned at her and spoke.

" Even Merlin and Dumbledore have their fears Mel. It's okay to have fears; they're what make us strong," Rick answered. Emmeline didn't think much of his words on that warm August morning. But those words would come back to her six years later when she was battling death eaters in the Ministry of Magic. When a violent green light sprinted for her figure, Emmeline's thoughts disappeared and the words of her brother came to her mind right as Adam McKinnon grabbed her and shoved her to the ground.

Those words echoed in her mind when she turned and saw the spell hit Lucian Gastor in the chest. Those words ripped into her mind as Lucian's gold eyes met hers and she watched him whisper his last words. Those words scared her forever when the light in Lucian's eyes died and realization hit her; she wasn't invincible. Emmeline Vance, descendant of dragon slayers, was just a girl.

* * *

Emmeline never felt small. She was also the person in charge of the world. But when she stood in the middle of King's Cross Station, Emmeline couldn't help but feel insignificant. Hundreds of people walked through the walls of the train station and each of them had their own paths. Emmeline was just one of them.

She tucked her hand inside of the warm one of her dad's and walked with him to Platform 9 ¾. Garrett Vance was a stocking man with a head of salt and pepper hair and striking ice-blue eyes. His hair was cropped to his head and he towered over most people. Emmeline thought her dad was invincible. Her mum walked on her other side. Emmeline could feel her mum's stare on her head.

Rick looked more like their mum, Lynette, than Emmeline did. Emmeline was tall and thin. She had her dad's curls and eyes. Rick had their mum's steel-blue eyes and sunflower blonde hair. Emmeline's hair had highlights of auburn and caramel but she didn't seem to notice that

Emmeline was upset since Rick couldn't come to King's Cross. He was of in the States fighting Dark Wizards. Emmeline's parents hadn't been too happy with Rick's move and job choice. Her parents worked in the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. They both held a certain level of high society from their family lines and history. Rick told Emmeline that their parents weren't purists but they were afraid of the death eaters so they tried to convince people that they supported death eaters by forcing Emmeline into a betrothal.

Emmeline sort of hated her parents for doing that. She hated her dad for not being invincible and she hated her mum for swaying in the wind. But when she was eleven, Emmeline thought the world of her parents.

" Butterbeer you've got everything right? Rick forgot to pack clothing his first year and wore the same ones for three days," her mum asked as they crossed into Platform 9 ¾ . Emmeline clenched her long fingers around the handle of the cart she was pushing; her mum could be so embarrassing sometimes.

" Mum don't call me that! I'm not Rick, I packed everything and I'm sure. I'll brush my teeth twice a day and write home once a week. I'm going to eat a healthy diet and do all of my homework. I'm Emmeline Vance, I know how to take care of myself," Emmeline declared. Her mum nodded and pulled her in for a tight hug.

" You're growing up too quickly butterbeer. Come home for Christmas. Michael wants to hear everything about Hogwarts," Mrs. Vance stated. Emmeline smiled at her mum's notion of her cousin Michael Wood.

Michael was eager to go to Hogwarts but he was one year younger than Emmeline. She promised him that she would write to him about the Great Hall and the sorting ceremony when he visited the Vance Estate.

" I will mum. I'll see you at Christmas," Emmeline finished. Her mum leaned up from their embrace and planted a kiss on Emmeline's cheek. Emmeline pushed her mum away and grabbed the handle of her cart with excitement.

" Are you scared?" her dad asked from her side. Emmeline turned to him and met his eyes with a set expression. His fingers scratched the surface of his rough beard as he looked down at his daughter.

" No but I have this weird feeling in my stomach. It's like a volcano is erupting inside of my stomach," Emmeline admitted. Her dad nodded and turned to the glossy red train with a pensive expression.

" You're not like your mum or me. You're different Emmeline and don't forget that. You're going to be brave and make a difference in this world just like your brother. Don't let anyone keep you from doing that," Her dad ordered.

" I won't dad. I am Emmeline Vance after all," Emmeline answered. Her dad smiled and pulled her into his tight embrace. Emmeline lingered for a moment and tried to absorb the scent of her dad. He smelled like the grass outside of Rydal and the coffee he drank that morning.

" I'll see you at Christmas Emmeline. Be brave my little chestnut," her dad finished. Emmeline nodded and turned to the train. She didn't look back as she raced for her future.

* * *

When Emmeline was older, she would look back at memories of her youth with bitter smiles. She spent her youth fighting against her youth. Emmeline would've wasted her youth if it were not for Adam McKinnon.

* * *

On the train, Emmeline sat with Alice Prewitt, a girl she met during her Coming of Age Ball. Alice's cousins, Gideon and Fabian joined them with their friends from Charms School, Frank Longbottom and Adam McKinnon.

Emmeline left the train with her courage wavering from spending the ride with her enemy. At the sorting ceremony, she was the last of her friends to get sorted. She sat on the stool with her feet poised against the floor. When the hat declared Gryffindor, Emmeline couldn't have been more proud.

When she looked at the table of proud students Emmeline couldn't help but look for her brother's face. She could see him sitting in the middle of the table wearing a grin as she was sorted, but Rick was gone.

Months went by and Rick wrote to Emmeline almost everyday. She excelled in History of Magic and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Emmeline became close friends with Alice Prewitt and her dorm mates. Adam McKinnon was in all of her classes and continued to torment her. Older students had to pry the two from each other when they fought in the common room. She went home for Christmas and spent the week with Michael at Wood Manor up in Scotland since their parents had loads of work.

Emmeline loved her cousin but his questions were annoying. All he did was complain about the boys in his Charms School. Emmeline really didn't care much for James Potter and Sirius Black. She remembered her parents informing her that Sirius Black was betrothed to Adam's younger sister. But Emmeline didn't care much for the likes of Adam McKinnon. She had castles in the clouds, and Emmeline spent most of her time trying to pull them down to earth.

First year flew by in a mess of fights and classes. Emmeline got her first detention when Adam picked a fight with Cassius Gastor and she was tried to pry the two boys off each other. She and Adam still didn't get along. Rick's letters grew shorter as he had so much work. Emmeline's grew longer since she had so much to write about.

She spent the summer with Michael at Vance Manor. Rick couldn't take a break from work so he remained in the States. Emmeline couldn't help but feel slightly abandoned; Rick was her brother above all, she adored him and now he was gone.

Towards the end of the summer, Emmeline became a bit more astute. She noticed the potions and the long naps her mum took. She noticed the haggard state of her mum and felt salt lick at her heart when her mum was feeling too ill to go to King's Cross. Her father took her and Michael to the station since Michael's parents were on a mission.

It was then that Emmeline vowed to always be there for her cousin. She wasn't going to abandon Michael like Rick did to her. But when second year started, Emmeline's life changed for the worse. The Daily Prophet brought word of massacres across the country. Emmeline didn't buy the stories of accidental magic or muggle terrorists. She knew that the journalists were hiding a message in their words; and Emmeline was the only person who could decode it.

Emmeline was oddly surprised when she found out that Michael had befriended Marlene McKinnon and Benjy Fenwick. The trio made an odd pair. Benjy was the brains, Michael was the brave, and Marlene was the beautiful one. From the second Emmeline laid eyes on Marlene she couldn't help but be jealous of her fiancé's sister.

Emmeline walked with a straightforward confidence and had a loud and clear voice. Marlene walked as though she was dancing and held a voice that captured other people's attention. Adam still teased Emmeline for having pale skin and curly hair. Emmeline started to pull her hair into tight buns and used skin-darkening charms.

Rick's letters came twice a month with short words regarding her last letters. Emmeline didn't let anyone see her distraught over her brother. That Christmas, Emmeline was forced to dance with Adam at the annual ball. She spent the entire night looking at the doors waiting for Rick to walk in with his standard grin and wise words. He never came. Instead James Potter and Jason Gastor dumped a liter of pumpkin juice on Emmeline. She felt the sticky liquid trickle down her dress and the tears pounded from her eyes.

When Emmeline returned to school, she started collecting articles from the Daily Prophet. She used a gluing charm and stuck them to a journal when she studied the words in them. The way the reporters wrote held an edge of sarcasm and exaggeration. Emmeline got headaches from the amount of time she spent pouring over the letters.

Emmeline ended second year by slapping Adam McKinnon across the face and calling him one of the insults she read in a book. Professor McGonagall assigned her two detentions for using those words.

During the summer, Emmeline noticed the dark gloom overlooking Vance estate. She didn't miss the pale skin of her mum and the thin state of her hair. Emmeline didn't miss the worried look in her father's eyes or the way he held her mum like she was about to break.

Emmeline started to investigate this and within two months figured it out. Her mum was ill and no one told her. She could see the potions and the lies her parents told. It took a little research for Emmeline to figure out that her mum had a deadly case of Dragon Pox. The first thing she did was go to Summerset. Emmeline hadn't been in Summerset since the day she and Rick talked in the morning. She stood in front of the door to Rick's bedroom and cried. Tears pounded from her eyes when Emmeline realized how twisted the world was.

Reporters had to hide the truth behind fake words. Her brother was too busy with his own life to write back to her. Her dad spent his time worrying about her mum and her mum was dying. Michael never saw his parents since they were always working. Adam McKinnon continued to torment Emmeline.

When she returned to school for her third year, Emmeline disappointed her parents for the first time. She chose to take Muggle Studies and Ancient Ruins. Her entire family took Care of Magical Creatures as one of their electives but Emmeline wanted to be different.

It was too bad that the only other one of her friends who took Muggle Studies was Adam. He sat across the room with a group of Ravenclaws and shot letters at Emmeline's head. She ignored him and continued her life.

Emmeline was surprised to see that Adam and Marlene made the Gryffindor Quidditch team when Michael did. She went to the first game and saw that Adam flew with grace. Emmeline wore a large red blush for the rest of the evening.

That year, Adam McKinnon turned into a man whore. He went to Hogsmeade with girls from every single house and held an air of tousled looks. Emmeline was alone. Alice and Frank admitted to have crushes on each other and went on dates. Fabian and Marlene shot each other longing stares when Sirius Black wasn't around. Even Michael snogged a few girls.

But Emmeline wasn't asked out once. Her height and build made her stand out against her peers. All of her classmates started to fill out. Their hips widened and their chest grew. Emmeline shot up in height and stayed a reedy build. Adam didn't even look her way.

She holed up in the library analyzing articles when her friends were out on dates. Emmeline still wrote to Rick but he never wrote back. She never gave up on him but her hope was fading.

Word of Death Eaters broke out in their society. Emmeline heard about people like Rodolphus Lestrange and Julius Gastor bearing the dark mark of the death eaters. Emmeline just stopped listening to the world around her. She took a quill in her hand one day and started writing.

Third year sped by and Emmeline saw how plain she was. Marlene was the pretty one. Michael was the brave one. Frank and Adam were the leaders. Alice was the kind one. Gideon was the quiet voice of sanity and Fabian was the joker. Benjy was the smart one. Emmeline was just plain old Emmeline Vance.

Emmeline spent the summer writing and reading. She lost herself in words and let her mind drown under books. She read the_ Iliad_ and wanted to be like Hector rather than Paris. Emmeline didn't want to start a war for love.

Her mum was even worse. But her parents never told her anything. They pretended like everything was fine. On a warm July night, Emmeline confronted her parents and found out that her mum only had months left. She also found out that Rick knew and he refused to come home. Emmeline moved out of Rydal and went to Willow Cottage the next morning.

Emmeline didn't write to her friends that summer. She didn't read the letters they wrote her. She was lost in her own world of pain and betrayal. Emmeline picked up _Julius Caesar _and wondered who was her Brutus. She wrote so much that her hands were stained a permanent shade of blue.

Her parents never asked her to come to Rydal. They didn't know that Emmeline left Willow Cottage in the middle of August and went to Aiden. It was there that she met Stephen. He was a muggle who went to Oxford. Due to Emmeline's height, he believed her when she told him that she was seventeen. It was her first crush. Stephen was majoring in Literature and analyses of Shakespeare.

Emmeline spent the rest of the month sneaking out of Vance Estate and meeting Stephen in a small café in Aiden. She told Stephen all sorts of lies though. But they were close to true. Thanks to Emmeline's year in Muggle Studies and her love of Muggle Literature, Stephen was under the impression that her parents worked as Environmentalists studying the forest surrounding Aiden. He also thought that Emmeline's brother was a government agent in the States. Emmeline knew that her lies would catch up to her, but she loved the way Stephen could paint a picture with words. She loved the way his hair stuck up in a chaotic mess and how his dark eyes sparkled at any mentions of _Othello_ or _Hamlet_.

The week before Hogwarts starting, death eaters came to Aiden. Emmeline was in the café when they attacked. It was only luck that Pericles Gastor recognized her right before George Avery tried to kill her. But they killed Stephen in a flash of green light.

Emmeline went to King's Cross alone that year. She wrote one last letter to Rick before letting one of the house elves apparate her to the station. She didn't even say good-bye to her mum or dad. Her heart was burdened with Stephen's death and the sounds of the death eaters. She entered Platform 9 ¾ with a mournful expression, right as she walked into someone.

Emmeline blinked as she craned her head up and met a pair of shocked blue eyes. She could feel Adam McKinnon tracing her figure with surprise.

" Vance is that you? Where have you been all summer?" Adam demanded. Emmeline faintly noticed that he had changed over the summer. Adam shot up and towered over her tall form. He was muscular from hours of Quidditch and held a certain air of maturity. His eyes were filled with a hidden gleam and Emmeline clenched her hands around her cart's handle.

" I'm not in the mood for your immaturity McKinnon. I've had a shitty summer," Emmeline declared. She turned and began to walk away from him.

" Emmeline we heard about your mom. I'm sorry," Adam called from behind her. Emmeline froze and felt him place a hand on her shoulder. She grabbed her wand and pressed it into his neck with distaste.

" My mum was sick for three years Adam. She and my dad didn't tell me for three years. I don't particularly care about her anymore," Emmeline spat. Adam froze with shock as Emmeline shoved him away and headed for the train. She shoved her luggage into an overhead compartment and sat alone. Her finger tore open a book and Emmeline felt tears escape her eyes when she saw the name of the book she grabbed; it was _Hamlet_.

* * *

Emmeline walked off the train alone and had puffy eyes. She saw Michael staring at her with concern and swallowed the love she felt for him. Rick abandoned her, Michael just stood and watched her with concern. Emmeline was lost in her own misery.

She froze when she saw Cassius Gastor walking with Natasha Goyle. Her fingers clenched around her wand. She remembered the smoking remains of Aiden and Stephen's glassy eyes. A burst of anger filled Emmeline and she wanted to destroy something. Her fingernail ripped into the skin of her palms and Emmeline felt stabs of shooting pain lance through her.

She wanted to feel something. Emmeline couldn't fell anymore. She was numb to everything. The pain was something and Emmeline was willing to take anything.

Fourth year started with a bang, literally. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin set off several Filibuster fireworks in the middle of the sorting ceremony. Emmeline was quiet in class. She took notes and answered questions when she was asked. But she was numb.

Emmeline avoided her friends and knew that Alice was staring at her with hurt. Adam McKinnon watched with concern and Emmeline wanted to hit him. He had no right to worry for her; she survived without him or anyone for the matter.

During November Emmeline screamed at a group of first year Hufflepuffs for being too loud in the hallway. She could feel Gideon and Fabian watching her with something close to anger as she strutted off. It was after that event that Slytherins started to call her the ice bitch of Gryffindor.

Emmeline didn't care. She sat alone at dinner with scars staining her palms one night when a fifth year leaned across her and grabbed a sharp knife to cut his steak. He sat down and the knife hit Emmeline's hand and created a large gash. She gasped with pain and students looked over at her as she examined the injury.

She heard someone sit up and the fifth year apologize. But Emmeline wasn't paying attention to that. She could feel again. Emotions filled her. Disappointment for her parents. Betrayal for her brother. Hatred for the death eaters. But most importantly disgust for herself. Emmeline Vance had fallen so low.

She let Kingsley Shacklebolt escort her to the Hospital Wing. She let Madam Pomfrey heal her. She left the hospital wing and entered the Gryffindor Common Room. Her old friends stood near the window and turned to her with worried expressions. But the one that disturbed her the most was Adam's.

His blue eyes looked agonized, as though he could feel her pain. Emmeline wondered why he was so upset; his hand hadn't been sliced open by a steak knife. She frowned at her friends and brushed past them.

It was two months later when Emmeline sat at breakfast when the letter arrived. She could feel eyes on her; Emmeline Vance never received any letters. Her hands reached for the letter and pried it open. Emmeline read the letter with disinterest and closed it when she was done. She continued her meal and ignored the stares from her friends.

" What did it say?" a voice demanded. Emmeline looked up and saw that Michael was standing next to her with crossed arms. She blinked at him; when did he get so tall? He reached out and shook her shoulder with anger. Emmeline felt a memory brush her mind; Michel did have a temper from his dad.

" She's my aunt Emmeline. I love her and even if you're acting like such a bitch you love her. You promised me that you would be there for me Emmeline. But this summer you just disappeared and returned like a zombie. You're supposed to be my family. But now you're just like your brother," Michael spat.

Emmeline stood up and slapped him across the face in anger. He clutched his face and the sound echoed across the hall as people stared at the two. Her hands shook with rage as she clenched them. Emmeline felt her nails pierce her skin and the pain encouraged her.

" She's alive you bastard. They found some stupid treatment and she is in recovery in Mungos. I don't understand why you would want to know though. I know your parents don't love you and think that you're a burden but that doesn't mean that my parents are some sort of replacement for you," Emmeline hissed.

Michael's eyes filled with hurt as she grabbed her bag and moved past him. She took sharp steps and held her head up. She was Emmeline Vance and she wasn't scared of anything.

" I know about Stephen Emmeline. You should watch where you leave those notebooks of yours. I'm sure that you wanted to keep your little summer romance a secret," Michael announced from behind her. Emmeline froze and felt an unholy blush cover her cheeks. She looked to the Gryffindor table and met Adam's stare. His body trembled and he looked so hurt.

Emmeline turned and fled from the Great Hall. People spoke about her. She was the bitch who broke Adam McKinnon's heart. Emmeline scoffed at those rumors; Adam didn't care for her. She didn't know that she had changed over the summer.

Her body filled out and students envied it. Her eyes that seemed too big for her head, now gave her a doe-like innocence. Her lips were swollen and boys stared at them in envy. Her classmates watched her walk through the Great Hall with some sort of unholy pride; she was Emmeline Vance and she wasn't scared of anything.

* * *

Emmeline went home for Christmas. She saw her parents waiting for her at King's Cross and brushed past them to one of the house elves she summoned. The week was brutal for her. Her parents watched her with mournful expression. Emmeline knew that they were waiting for her to break.

She went to the Christmas Ball and wore a dark blue dress. It showed the body she worked to hide and Emmeline avoided most people that night. She headed for the large library in the Black Manor and holed herself up there.

" It seems easy to escape reality by reading," a voice commented. Emmeline looked up from the book she held in her hands and blinked at the man standing in front of her. He wore a set of black dress robes and a gold tie. His hair was a chaotic mess of golden curls and his eyes looked like liquid gold.

Emmeline saw a few wrinkles near his eyes that told her he liked to smile a lot. The man looked slightly younger than her father but he carried an air to his walk that suggested he was mature.

Emmeline recognized the crest on his lapel and stared at him in shock. What was William Gastor doing in a library during one of the most important nights in pureblood society?

He smiled at her expression and sat on the floor across from her. Emmeline Vance was shocked to see that he spread his legs out and plucked a book from the shelves with a graceful movement.

" My wife is more of a socialite than I am. I prefer a good book to discussion about how rich the Malfoys are. No offense to you though. Your mother is a Malfoy," William mused. Emmeline nodded and his eyes lightened.

" My sons aren't the biggest book fans. Well other than Pericles and Cassius. But Pericles has to make connections for his career and Natasha Goyle is dragging around Cassius the ball forcing him to interact with humans instead of books. My wife, well she is always writing but she prefers art to books," William continued.

" I used to enjoy these balls but they all sort of blend together," Emmeline sniffed. William frowned and closed his book. Emmeline watched as his hands shoved a few wild curls from his eyes.

" You're too young to be so bitter Miss Vance. When I was your age I spent these balls dancing until my feet bled," William mused. Emmeline frowned at his tone and held her head up.

" I don't want to be young. I hate being so ignorant. I hate that people treat me like a child and that I'm expected to do whatever my parents want me to," Emmeline answered.

" You're so wrong Emmeline. Being young is about being ignorant. It's about creating morals and ideals that will define you for the rest of your life. It's about exploring the world and treasuring everything it gives you," William corrected.

" I'm tired of letting people lie to me and hide things. I'm tired of everybody worrying about me. I just want to be left alone," Emmeline spat. William's eyes filled with a fatherly wisdom and he sat up with a serene expression.

" I used to be just like you. I wanted to escape the world and I hated it for taking so much from me. I lost so much when I was young and I spent my youth trying to be an adult. Someone made me realize that being young is something to hold onto until it slips from your fingers. When you're young everything seems to glow. Don't waste that light on trying to escape the world,' William advises.

Before Emmeline could say anything someone walked in on them. Emmeline looked up and saw a poise redhead standing at the end of the library with an amused grin. Emmeline had never seen a prettier person. Even Marlene McKinnon would look dull compared to the woman in front of her. The woman's eyes were a brilliant shade of grass green. William's eyes filled with love as he stood and walked over to the woman with love in his eyes.

" Will you have time at home to live in a library so why do you do it now? Mrs. Black is sure that you're off with her husband drinking," the woman asked. Emmeline heard a light accent rip through her words.

" I was having a discussion with Emmeline Vance. She's Garrett's daughter. Emmeline this is my wife Delphina," William introduced. Emmeline stood up and blushed with embarrassment. She could feel the woman's eyes analyzing her before she smiled.

" You're the writer. Your mum is always talking about how much you write at all the parties and brunches," Delphina declared.

" My mum talks about me?" Emmeline asked with a dry mouth. Delphina let out a peal of musical laughter and William smiled at her.

" Lynn is so proud of you Emmeline. I visited her when she was in the hospital and all she did was talk about the stuff you wrote and the notebooks you keep. She's so proud of you Emmeline," Delphina gushed.

Emmeline nodded and felt something fill her. It was an emotion she hadn't felt in such a long time; it was guilt.  
" It was grand meeting you Emmeline but my sons are causing havoc. I've got to get them out before Jason tries to slip some potions he and his friends made into the champagne," Delphina finished. She pulled Emmeline in for a warm hug. Something about Delphina Gastor made Emmeline trust her.

" I'll get Lucian and Cassius you get Jason," Mrs. Gastor bargained. Her husband scoffed and brushed a lock of her hair from her temple.

" That's not fair. Getting Jason means going on a goose chase with him across London all night," Mr. Gastor grumbled. His wife smiled mischievously and left the room before he could argue. He ran a hand through his messy curls and smiled at where his wife once stood. Emmeline felt embarrassed for being in the same room as them; they were so in love and that was clear from the looks and small touches they exchanged.

William turned to her with a small smile. She tugged on material of her dress and he cleared his throat.

" There's still time for one last dance Emmeline. I'm sure that there is someone who is waiting to dance with you," William declared. Emmeline nodded and brushed a piece of lint from her dress.

" Was Mrs. Gastor the person who made you realize that you wanted to hold onto your youth?" Emmeline asked. William's lips spread into a grin and he nodded.

" Yes she was. I think that there's a young man out there who wants you to realize the same thing Emmeline. I also think that he is in the ballroom waiting for you," William Gastor declared.

" I don't know about that. But there is someone that I owe an apology to," Emmeline answered.

" Don't give you on yourself Emmeline. You have your entire life ahead of you. Don't waste a moment of it," William finished.

" Thank you. Maybe we'll meet at the next ball in a library," Emmeline offered.

" I'm not too sure about that. I'm sure that you'll be busy with your friends by then," William answered. Emmeline didn't disagree but she didn't agree. Instead she left the room and William Gastor as she raced down the hall.

She reached the ballroom with slightly red cheeks and looked around with hectic eyes. Her eyes landed on Michael's figure but they jumped away to Adam's body. Adam sat at a table talking to his sister and Alice. Emmeline watched as he brushed a lock of his hair back and laughed at something Marlene said. He looked up and met her eyes.

His eyes filled with a challenging notion before he turned back to his friends. Emmeline ignored the pain in her chest and stood in the middle of the ball with a confused expression. She was Emmeline Vance. She wasn't supposed to be afraid of Adam McKinnon. But his eyes sent butterflies into her stomach that exploded from the volcano already there.

Emmeline could hear the song ending. She had a choice but not much time. There was one song left in the ball. Emmeline could choose someone she knew for her entire life. She could choose to dance with Michael and heal those wounds. Or she could choose to dance with Adam. Dancing with Adam was so risky but it made Emmeline's heart thud rapidly against her chest.

Sweat formed in her palms as she took a deep breath. Emmeline let her heart guide her to the person she needed the most.

" Michael?" Emmeline said in a quiet voice. Her cousin looked up and met her eyes with a troubled expression. Emmeline could feel the stares of her friends as she toyed with fingers.

" Will you dance with me?" Emmeline asked in a quiet voice. Her friend smiled softly before standing and accepting her hand.

" Of course Emmy," Michael said. His words sealed that night. Emmeline and Michael would never be the same again. She abandoned Michael for half a year. She promised to be there for him and she couldn't keep her promise. She and Michael would be friends but their almost sibling bond was lost forever.

* * *

Emmeline returned to school with a new perspective on life. She didn't speak to her parents when she left but she did smile at her mom as she let a house elf apparate her to King's Cross. She wasn't ready to forgive them yet but with time she would be.

School was strange for Emmeline. She was too afraid to speak to her friends but Michael was there for there. Something changed in him but Emmeline couldn't tell what it was. He seemed slightly off, as though he was struggling to hold himself together.

Winter faded and spring came. Emmeline spent her days doing classwork and decoding the messages in the Daily Prophet. She and Alice started to make progress. Alice spoke to her in the morning about the weather. It was enough for Emmeline.

Adam's stare was killing her. It was filled with hate and disgust. Emmeline knew that he hated her. She started to watch him in class. Emmeline noticed that he preferred Shepard's Pie to Yorkshire Pudding and how his eyes always glanced at the window. She saw his eyes fill with satisfaction whenever there were puffy clouds in the sky. Emmeline wanted to ask him why he liked great big white clouds, but she was afraid to.

She noticed the way he bit his lips in Herbology since it was his worst class. Emmeline saw that he and Frank had a set of quills that they always fought over. She noticed all the little things about him but he never looked her way since the ball.

One spring Saturday, Emmeline was holed up in the library looking through a series of articles from the Daily Prophet. Michael was in Hogsmeade and Alice was still on polite terms with her. Emmeline never felt more alone. Her emotions seemed to return but they were limited to feeling sorry for herself and pain. Emmeline glanced at her palms. Small moon-shaped scars seemed to cover the skin. She bit her lip and closed her hands. Emmeline stopped hurting herself months ago but the lure of opening her skin and feeling again was still there.

She sighed and leaned over the notebook she was reading. The article about the recent attack in Cornwall didn't make much sense. Emmeline frowned at the lack of fluidity the reporter used. She noticed that some of the sentences were misplaced. Emmeline rewrote the article in an order she thought was more fitting and read the new article. Her eyes widened at the words she had arranged.

It made sense. Death eaters were attacking muggle towns as warning to the Ministry. It all made sense now. There weren't muggle terrorists; there were wizarding ones. Only this organization seemed intent on getting rid of muggles.

" Emmeline?" a voice called from behind her. Emmeline quickly shut the notebook she was reading and turned. She saw that Adam was watching her with puffy eyes. His clothing was in disarray and dirt stains covered them.

" What are you doing in here? I though libraries were for gits with stick up their arses," Emmeline sniffed. She always shoved her shields up when Adam was around. Something about him always made her angry.

" Michael got kidnapped by those death eaters. The school is on lockdown. McGonagall made me inform you," Adam quickly revealed. Emmeline blinked and felt her heart explode with pain. She clenched her hands and stood up. Emmeline took sharp breaths as Adam's words became clear to her. Michael was gone. He could be dead for all she knew. Emmeline promised him that she would be there for him. She broke her promise and never got the chance to make up for it.

Her body gave up and Emmeline fell to the ground. She felt tears escape her eyes and land against her bloody hands. A sob escaped her throat. Emmeline looked up when someone grabbed her hands and pried them open. Adam was kneeling in front of her and frowning at the cuts on her palms.

He didn't speak as he studied the scars on Emmeline's hands and held her hands in his. She let him support her as silence filled the two of them.

" Why?" Adam finally asked. Emmeline sniffled as he looked up and met her eyes with a concerned expression.

" I can't feel anything Adam. It's like my emotions got turned off and the only way I can feel anything is if I feel pain," Emmeline answered. Her voice cracked but Adam didn't seem to notice. He pulled his wand out and healed her bloody hands with a sloppy gesture. Adam was more of a Transfiguration guy than charms one.

" What happened to you Emmeline? You used to be so vibrant and now you're just washed out," Adam asked. Emmeline's jaw trembled as he stared at her with so much determination.

" I don't know," Emmeline whispered. His hands clenched around hers and he shook for a moment.

" You don't know? I don't think that's true," Adam declared. Emmeline frowned and shoved his hands away. She stood and he copied her.

" My life is shit. My mum was sick for three years and didn't bother to even tell me. My brother left the country and has a life without me. He just left me to suffer Adam. I don't even know if Michael is still alive. And I fell in love with someone who was killed by death eaters. I don't know what broke me to start with," Emmeline spat. Adam took a step back in shock and Emmeline grabbed her notebook from the table. She walked past him with trembling hands.

" Emmeline Vance you're so wrong. You know exactly what made you decide to give up," Adam declared. Emmeline turned with a murderous expression and clenched her hand around her wand.

" What is it then? If you're such a fucking genius then why don't you tell me?" Emmeline roared. Adam ignored her raged form and pulled her in for a tight hug.

" You're amazing Emmeline. You hate yourself for being so plain but you're the most beautiful person I have ever seen. I hate myself for being so stupid when I was younger. I hate myself for letting you turn into this person. But I will not let you give up Emmeline Vance. I'm going to fight for the eleven-year-old girl with long curly hair and eyes that tried to memorize every single thing about the world. I won't give up on her even though you did," Adam vowed.

Emmeline trembled as he pulled her into his chest and wove his fingers into her bun. She felt him pull the hairclip out and let her hair tumble down her back. Emmeline met his eyes as he twirled a lock of her hair around his fingers.

" You're so beautiful Emmeline. I spent a month watching you walk from class to class so I could watch curl of your hair escape that stupid bun you keep it in. I pick fights with you so your eyes gleam with so much life. You walk with this confident poise that other girls are so jealous of. But I don't care about those things. I care about the girl who has ink stained hands from all of the things she writes. I care about the girl who uses scraps of newspaper as bookmarks. I care about the girl whose eyes burn with life. I care about you Emmeline. I have ever since I first saw you. I was just too arrogant and stupid to tell you that," Adam announced.

" You're wrong Adam. That girl who you're describing, she got lost and I don't know if I can find her," Emmeline pleaded.

" Then let me find her for you," Adam offered. Emmeline shook her head and pulled her body from Adam's hold. She turned to the doors of the library with her head set.

" Adam I need a north star and I don't know if you could be mine," Emmeline finished. She left the room and a trail of her broken heart followed her.

* * *

While Michael was missing, Emmeline bonded with her old friends. Her friends took her back with open arms when she told them about what happened with Stephen. Adam clenched his jaw during that speech.

When Michael was found, Emmeline cried tears of joy. When she found out that her aunt and uncle were dead, Emmeline lost herself in her grief. But Adam didn't let her drown. At the funeral he stood next to her and let her cry on his shoulder when she saw Michael's scars from the slicing charms death eaters used on him.

During the funeral, Emmeline rekindled her relationship with her parents. Her dad and mum took her with open arms that day. Fourth year ended slowly and Emmeline hovered over Michael. Adam was like a shadow for her, but his fight and fire made Emmeline smile in secret.

She spent the summer with Michael at Vance Estate. It was that summer that the Macnairs were holding a wedding. It was then that Rick returned. Emmeline wore a light yellow dress and sat in the garden for the reception when she saw him. He walked into the garden with an air of power. A golden cloak was covering his figure, but it didn't hide the scar slashed across the center of his hand. He looked old and worn, but Emmeline didn't care.

Rick caught her eye and his eyes widened at her figure. Adam and Marlene were dancing so Emmeline was alone when Rick walked up to her. But the world seemed to pause and stare at them as Rick's steps led him to her.

" You've grown Mel," Rick commented. He wasn't expecting for Emmeline to punch him across the face. Rick let out a curse as people jumped towards them.

" You're a bastard Rick," Emmeline shouted. Her brother's eyes flashed with anger and he scowled at her.

" Mum nearly died and you didn't even write to me. You just disappeared and left me! You promised that you would stay with me. You promised Rick," Emmeline sobbed. Tears escaped her eyes as she clenched her fists tightly and Rick frowned at her.

" Emmeline I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for not coming to see mum or even visiting. I just got caught up in my life in the States. I didn't want to come back to this society," Rick explained. Emmeline noticed that a crowd was gathering around them but she didn't care.

" That's your excuse? You're pathetic. Rick I don't want to see you ever again. You need to just go back to your bloody perfect life and never come back. I hate you," Emmeline spat. She didn't wait for Rick to answer her. Emmeline turned and marched past the people in the wedding. She could feel her parents and friends watching her but Emmeline didn't care. Rick ruined her childhood. He turned her into some sort of bitter bitch.

Emmeline spent the rest of the summer trying to forget Rick's appearance. She visited Alice in Liverpool and met Fabian and Gideon's nephew. But Emmeline didn't see Adam all summer. He seemed to disappear that summer like she did the summer before.

" Butterbeer write home. Make sure to be careful. Don't get involved with the war. Let Dumbledore deal with those death eaters," her mum instructed. Emmeline nodded and hugged her mother.

" Mum this war is my war now. I'm a Gryffindor and if I have to I will fight," Emmeline answered.

" Emmeline I'm proud of you but don't do anything stupid. Just stay away from trouble," her dad ordered. Emmeline nodded reluctantly and felt someone grab her from behind. She blushed as Adam pulled in for a tight hug. Emmeline heard his mum and hers gush over them as Adam leaned towards her ear.

" We need to talk immediately," Adam whispered. Emmeline frowned but his face held an edge of extreme urgency so she nodded.

" Butterbeer! You didn't tell me that you and Adam were getting along so well," her mum gushed. Emmeline blushed as her mum's nickname as Adam took the handle of her cart with one hand and wrapped his other around her shoulder.

" It's great to see you Mrs. Vance. I'm sorry but the train is leaving soon and Emmeline and I have some catching up to do," Adam explained.

" Boy watch your hand," Emmeline's dad grumbled. Adam removed his hand from Emmeline's waist and turned to her dad.

" Sorry sir. I haven't seen Emmeline in such a long time but that doesn't excuse my behavior," Adam answered. Emmeline stared at him in shock; when he become so suave?

" Emmeline remember what we discussed. We'll see you at Christmas," her mum declared. Emmeline nodded fervently and let Adam lead her to the train. Students gawked at them; Emmeline Vance and Adam McKinnon hated each other. So why were they holding hands?

After Adam kept her luggage away, he led her to an empty compartment and shut the door behind him. Emmeline looked at his figure and noticed how old he looked for the first time. It wasn't his features really, but the way he carried himself indicated some type of burden.

" They tried to recruit me Emmeline," Adam announced. Emmeline froze just as the train started moving. She blinked and frowned at Adam. Then the meaning of his words hit her like a shard of glass. Emmeline's mouth fell open and her arms fell to her sides.

" You-know-who?" Emmeline asked. Adam nodded and leaned against one of the seats in the compartment. His body slacked against the upholster and he looked so weak. A strong urge to comfort him filled Emmeline but she shrugged it away.

" At the Brunch Mrs. Rosier had back in July Augustus Rookwood and Julius Gastor cornered me. They told me about the cause and said that the Dark Lord would appreciate a good dueler like me," Adam practically spat. Emmeline pulled her hair from its tight bun and let it fall against her back. She kneeled in front of Adam and placed her hands on his knees.

" What did you say?" Emmeline asked softly. He placed his head inside of his hands and sighed.

" I told them that I would think about it. I couldn't tell them what I really wanted to say Emmeline. If I did then they would go after my family. Marlene is safe with Black but my parents and my half blood cousin aren't safe. My mum and dad are getting pressured. Emmeline I don't know what to do. I'm fifteen for Merlin's sake! I can't kill people but I can't let them hurt you," Adam groaned.

Emmeline sat up and removed his hands from his face. She noticed that his eyes were filled with tears. When Adam McKinnon cried he didn't look like a boy. Something changed in him over the summer. He turned into a man all too early. His tears heightened his eyes and his lips turned a dark shade of red. Emmeline didn't know what happened to the playful and cruel boy of her past.

" Adam we can't be like our parents. I'm not going to teeter on the edge of neutrality; I'm going to fight. You can sit here and cry about the people who could die or you can join me. The death eaters will kill regardless of your choice. But it's up to you to decide if you want to be a fighter or a killer," Emmeline answered.

Adam's hand tightened around her own and he met her eyes with a confused stare. She changed so much. She wasn't the little girl with her hair down anymore. She didn't spend her days twirling her wand in between her fingers or laughing loudly at the smallest things. She wasn't the girl he fell in love with; she was so much more than that girl.

Emmeline changed over the summer. It was as if the confrontation with her brother broke her icy heart. She was free to feel again. Adam saw that from the moment his eyes landed on her figure. She didn't look so broken anymore. She looked almost whole. Adam hoped that he had helped her fix herself somehow.

" Emmeline Vance you're one hell of a Gryffindor," Adam murmured. Emmeline's lips pulled into a tight smile and she placed her head against Adam's shoulder. They were two broken pieces that needed each other to be whole.

* * *

Once fifth year started, Emmeline was engulfed in schoolwork. She stopped believing the stuff written in the Daily Prophet and relied on Michael's half-brother Alastor Moody to bring her the truth. She spent more time with Alice and fixed her friendship with Gideon.

The war progressed outside of Hogwarts. Emmeline knew that it was coming. It was chasing after her and every single day she got a little slower and it got a little faster. In November, Emmeline attended Evan Rosier's Coming of Age Ball. When she returned to Hogwarts Adam was trapped in a bitter anger that she couldn't understand.

" Who was Stephen?" Adam demanded one cold November night. Emmeline sat near the fireplace in the Gryffindor Common Room reading the works of Keats. When she looked up she saw that Adam was standing in front of her. He still wore his Quidditch uniform and was covered in a light layer of sweat. His eyes were filled with chaotic anger.

" He was a muggle that lived in the village close to my house. We spent the summer together talking about a muggle author and then Avery murdered him during a death eater massacre. There isn't much to that story Adam," Emmeline explained.

" You loved him though," Adam pointed out. Emmeline noted his bitter and hollow tone with a scoff.

" Adam you have no right to be jealous! I spent two years watching girls flock to you and being called ugly," Emmeline spat. Adam frowned and leaned down next to her. His fingers caught her hand and he forced her to meet his eyes.

" I was stupid and immature Emmeline. You're so beautiful and you don't even know that. I used to hate the way you spent every single bloody hour writing in one of your notebooks. I was jealous that you had your own world to escape to when I was forced to deal with reality," Adam explained.

" I didn't have an escape Adam. Why does everyone think that I'm some sort of writing god? I wasn't escaping reality Adam I was facing it," Emmeline exclaimed. She picked up the notebook she had close to her and threw it at Adam. He caught it and she motioned for him to open it. His brow creased as he examined the pages of the notebook.

" This entire thing is filled with articles from the Daily Prophet," Adam examined. Emmeline nodded and tugged her hair from its bun.

" I spent two years trying to figure out what the reporters were trying to say. It took me two years to decode their secret message. Read the Article from every other line and start on the second word of each sentence instead of the first," Emmeline ordered. Adam frowned as he followed her orders. His eyes lit up with amazement as he read her code.

" Merlin. That's amazing. So the reporters have written an article inside of the ones that the Ministry is forcing them to write. Emmeline you're brilliant! I doubt anyone else could figure this out," Adam commended. Emmeline nodded and pulled the notebook from his fingers.

" Adam there's a whole world out there filled with things like this. It just takes a little creativity and initiative to figure out the truth," Emmeline finished. Adam nodded and smiled at her. She smiled back and their hands were still touching. It was something as small as a notebook of secrets that took Emmeline to admit that she thought that Adam McKinnon was an okay bloke.

December came and Emmeline spent the month with Adam. She learned that he wanted to travel so badly. She thought it was fitting that she was a writer and he wanted to see the world.

Emmeline was walking to her parents on Platform 9 ¾ as the Winter Holidays were starting. Someone grabbed her and turned her. Emmeline had no time to think when a pair of incredibly soft lips met hers. She felt something inside of her shift as Adam pulled from the kiss with a goofy smile and slightly red cheeks.

" Emmeline Vance will you do me the honor of being my escort to the Christmas Ball this year?" Adam asked suddenly. Emmeline knew the meaning behind his words. Both of them skirted around their feelings for a month. They were afraid to say the words they felt; Emmeline Vance admitted that she was scared for the first time in her life. But Adam's eyes met hers and she knew what she had to say.

" Yes," Emmeline announced in her confident and clear voice. She was surprised when the Platform burst into applause and cheering. People watched them with grins and students joked about it being finally time. But Emmeline didn't pay any attention to those people. She just stared into Adam's eyes as he smiled so widely and seemed to be holding his own celebration in his eyes.

On Christmas Evening, Emmeline stood in the Longbottom Manor wearing a silver dress. She was tucked into Adam's hold as they danced. If there was one thing that Adam McKinnon couldn't do, it was dance. They swayed lightly but seemed to fit each other. Near Emmeline were pairs of dancing couples but she didn't notice them. She only had eyes for Adam McKinnon and his eyes of soul that night.

" Emmeline McKinnon has a nice ring to it," Adam whispered into her ear. Emmeline blushed as she mockingly smacked his head.

" You still haven't asked me on a date and you're already planning our wedding," Emmeline teased. Adam shot her a guilty look before he kissed her cheek.

" That's because I will love you every single day for the rest of my life. And if I die then I will love you every single moment after that. I know that you may not love me Emmeline but I love you," Adam explained. Emmeline felt an emotion so alien fill her; it was love.

She felt it wrap around her soul and tie it to Adam's. In that moment Emmeline knew that she was in love with a boy who could smile like the sun.

" I love you Adam. You saved me from breaking and made me realize that there is something golden to being young and carefree," Emmeline declared. Adam's lips curled into a wide smile. Emmeline could see the small chip in his tooth from a Quidditch accident as he smiled.

" Well that's good because I plan on making sure that you stay gold for the rest of your life," Adam answered. As he leaned in and caught Emmeline's lips in a kiss, his eyes sparkled with love. Emmeline knew that this boy was the one for her.

She didn't look for love but love wasn't something you were supposed to find. Love came after you and shot you in the heart when you were least expecting it. Emmeline Vance didn't know that a man with gold eyes glanced in her direction with a hidden smile as he twirled his wife in a dance. Emmeline Vance was too young to be so bitter; she wasn't like him he thought.

Emmeline Vance had a life ahead of her and she planned on living it to her fullest extent. She was going to built castles in the sky and drag them down to earth because she was Emmeline Vance and she wasn't afraid of anything.

* * *

**I'm sorry for not updating anything in a while. I don't believe in Writer's Block but Chapter sixteen is taking some time. I wrote most of it but it didn't seem right so I scrapped half of it and spent a week plot mapping. I have a good idea of where Confingo is heading until March of Lily's sixth year now. Hopefully Chapter sixteen will be out in two weeks...**

**This long one-shot shows a relationship that I've thought long and hard about. Adam and Emmeline didn't have the perfect love that Lily saw when she first met them; they fought for it. Lily is going to have her own fighting to do soon regarding that area. **

**Hopefully I'll finish Part two by October if all goes well!**

**Ask questions...**

**R&R**

**-Rin**


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